


Pen Pal From The Past

by erstersandapplepi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Aged-Up Character(s), Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Akaashi Keiji is in Denial, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, But not that much, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Help, Historical Inaccuracy, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, M/M, Mentions of War, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Reincarnation, Soldier!Akaashi, Soldier!Bokuto, Soldier!Kenma, Soldier!Kuroo, Sort Of, Time Travel, University Student Akaashi Keiji, University Student Kozume Kenma, University Student Kuroo Tetsurou, War, We Die Like Men, but it's not rlly a huge part of the plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26061742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erstersandapplepi/pseuds/erstersandapplepi
Summary: An old journal and its unfinished story. Not the most appealing description when people hear it, no? But, strangely enough, it captures the attention of the ravenette named Akaashi.And in a spur of emotions and desperation, he writes a small message, not expecting a reply. So, of course, the sudden appearance of a new entry has him reeling back in fear and surprise.What’s more surprising is that he keeps writing and earns himself an unexpected pen pal. Oh, and did I mention that this pen pal is from the past?A story where Akaashi finds a magical journal that he can use to communicate with its previous owner, Bokuto.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! Thanks for taking interest in this, even if the summary sucks. But anyway, I just put this note to say that this is my first fanfic, so I apologize in advance for any errors in grammar and characterization, any plot inconsistencies, or just things that don't make sense. I'm trying my absolute best to make this as good as possible so yeah. 
> 
> Now that I'm done with my rambling, I'll let you get to the story. Enjoy!

A soft groan emerged from Akaashi’s lips as he raked his fingers through his hair. He was currently slouched at his desk with headphones plugged in, his phone playing some LoFi study music. This was the usual state you’d find him in if he was focused on a project or simply studying. Except for this time, he was doing neither. Another groan filled the silent room as he borderline glared at the blank notebook as if threatening it to make an idea appear on its pages.

“You know, if you keep groaning like that, I’m gonna start to assume that you’re listening to something else.” A monotonous voice spoke from the other side of the room.

The music’s volume was low enough for Akaashi to hear the comment, causing him to spin his chair around to scowl at his roommate, Kozume Kenma, who was currently playing on his PSP, not even batting an eyelash at the ravenette’s sour look.

Kozume Kenma was a good friend and roommate, as far as Akaashi was concerned. He was respectful but also kind. For the first year of living together, the two had easily fallen into a comfortable rhythm. They both knew when they could and could not step into the other’s boundaries. They cleaned the apartment when the other was swamped with work. And they’d both pay rent on time. Needless to say, Akaashi couldn’t have asked for a better person to be rooming with. Although, there were times when he just wanted to throw something other than a pillow at the blonde’s face, like right now.

“I am not,” Akaashi spoke indignantly. “I’ve no plan on watching any of those filthy videos, much less listen to them.”

“I never said anything about you listening to porn.” Kenma teased, still not looking up from his game.

Akaashi huffed as he was cornered. Trying to keep his flushing cheeks in check, he turned back to his desk. “Whatever.”

“Didn’t you say that the deadline for that isn’t for another month?” Kenma asked.

“Yes, but I’d prefer to get started on it now, rather than cram for it later,” Akaashi explained as he incessantly tapped his pen on the paper, unknowingly irking the blonde behind him. “Besides, the project is just to write a report on any piece of writing that was written in the past, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Yet you’re currently having a hard time to get even one word in.” Kenma pointed out.

“I recall saying that it shouldn’t be,” Akaashi said exasperatedly.

Kenma didn’t say anything else and they soon fell into the comfortable silence from a few minutes ago. Akaashi continued to wring ideas from his brain, scribbling nonsense on the paper before scratching them out. A few more minutes pass before the silence is broken for the second time as a soft knock sounded from the front door of their small apartment. Both heads looked up just in time to see a head of black and unkempt hair appear from the other side of the door.

“Hey, Kenma, you ready?” Kuroo Tetsurou asked as he strode inside, plopping down on their small couch, making himself at home. “Hey, Akaashi.” He waved at the ravenette.

Akaashi simply looked up and nodded in greeting. “Hello, Kuroo-san.”

Along with meeting Kenma, came meeting the rooster-head known as Kuroo Tetsurou, the blonde’s boyfriend of two years. At first, Akaashi had held the man at arm’s length, not knowing how to react to him and his character. But spending time with the couple had made Akaashi realized that he was quite kind. And soon, Akaashi had come to consider the bed-headed man as a close friend.

“Ready for what?” Kenma asked, not even looking up to greet the man.

“Huh? You said we were going to the mall for that new game of yours!” Kuroo exclaimed as he pointed at the blonde with exasperation.

“Oh, right,” Kenma said, a slight hint of happiness laced the usual monotone voice. “Let me get my jacket.” He stood up and walked into his room, still not looking up from his game.

“Eh, I kinda knew he’d forget, somehow,” Kuroo commented as he leaned back on the couch. Akaashi simply shaking his head in amusement. It was then that Kuroo took notice of the ravenette’s current disposition. “What’cha doing there, Akaashi?” He inquired as he leaned in to better face him.

“He’s currently trying to work on a, supposedly, easy project while simultaneously failing at it.” Kenma remarked as he reentered the room, tugging his jacket on, the PSP finally set down and placed in his pocket.

Akaashi rolled his eyes, “Thank you for the wonderful description of my current predicament, Kenma-san.” He sneered, but it was clear that his words held no bite.

Kuroo hummed, ignoring the last comment. “Then, you should come with us, Akaashi.” He suggested out of the blue. “You know, to unwind. Maybe your mind will work after a bit of relaxing.”

While he has spent a good amount of time with the couple, it still made Akaashi awkward at the thought of third-wheeling. And while the two had never made him feel left out in their outings, he still was cautious of accepting their invitations in fear of ruining their alone time. So, he had made it a sort of routine that when one had invited him, he’d ask the other if it was okay.

“I don’t mind.” Kenma shrugged, answering the silent question, upon seeing Akaashi’s questioning gaze.

Akaashi smiled and nodded in gratitude as he stood up from his chair. “Sure, why not?”

Kuroo pumped his fist as he sprang up from the couch. “Alright. Come one, let’s get going.”

“Wait for me outside, I’ll just go grab my coat,” Akaashi told the two as they nodded and filed out of the apartment.

* * *

Thankfully, the mall wasn’t too crowded. Giving Akaashi the liberty of walking at his own pace while thinking without having to be careful not to bump into someone. But apparently, he was walking too slow compared to the couple he was with, who was already more than a meter ahead of him and had stopped, for him to catch up.

Akaashi flushed with embarrassment at the thought of interrupting their moment. “Ah sorry.” He apologized with a small smile. “Maybe, you should go on without me. Go on your date as planned. I’ll be fine on my own.”

The two had wanted to protest, but stern eyes accompanied the smile on Akaashi’s face, urging them to just go. The two nodded in understanding and continued in their walk towards the game store, but not before bidding Akaashi goodbye and telling him to be safe.

Once he had lost sight of their retreating forms, Akaashi moved in the opposite direction, walking further into the mall. He then spent the next hour or so strolling around the shopping center, with his hands in his pockets, occasionally stopping at a store but not buying anything. Being a college student who had to work part-time at the café near campus just to pay rent, he had no time and space for things such as leisure shopping. With that said, he was not about to deny his stomach, who was currently growling with hunger.

He stopped by one of the many stalls in the food court. And as he stood in line, he was met with a familiar face. The face must’ve noticed him too since he waved in Akaashi’s direction.

“Hey, Akaashi. Nice to see you here.” Konoha Akinori greeted as he walked up to the bespectacled man.

“Nice to see you too, Konoha.” Akaashi nodded in greeting, a smile on his lips, happy to see one of his old high school friends.

“What’cha doing here?” Konoha asked, moving when Akaashi moved up in the line.

“Well, it’s obvious that I’m here to get some food, isn’t it?” Akaashi joked.

“Hey, now.” Konoha groaned at the other’s teasing. Then, Akaashi notices Konoha’s attire. Some sort of uniform.

“You’re on break?” He inquired before turning towards the cashier and placing his order.

Konoha nodded. “Yeah, just got a new job here last week. I need the money real bad, you know?”

“Oh, I know.” He chuckled in understanding as he paid and accepted the bag of onigiri, moving out of the line with Konoha following him.

“Now, you tell me the real reason you’re here,” Konoha said redirecting the topic. “I know you well enough to know that you’re not the type of guy to go out just for the fun of it.”

Akaashi chuckled at his friend’s interrogation. “Well, I went out with my friends, but I wasn’t up for third-wheeling. So, I made them leave without me.”

Konoha made a noise of understanding before they both fell silent, simply walking aimlessly around the mall. After a while, Konoha lit up with an idea. “Why don’t you come hang out with me at my job. My break’s about to end but I feel like we should continue catching up, you know?”

It wasn’t like Akaashi had anything better to do so he agreed. They walked a bit more, just talking before they arrived at the front of an antique store. Akaashi raised a brow as Konoha stepped forward to walk inside.

“You work at an antique store?”

“Yeah, a bit weird, right?” Konoha chuckled. “But the lady pays well and the work isn’t too hard, I couldn’t pass the chance. Besides, the lady’s real nice, like one of those doting grandmas.”

“You sure she won’t mind?” Akaashi asked as he walked in, taking the store’s atmosphere in. The smell was a bit weird, but most of the stuff inside it was so old, so it was to be expected. The place itself looked comfortable and slight chills went down Akaashi’s spine as he realized that all these old furniture, paintings, and machines were all from years and decades ago. The history was rich in the store, he realized.

“No, she won’t.” Konoha appeased as he moved behind the counter, shrugging his coat off. He was searching for something in the desk, crouching under it and coming up empty-handed. “Could you wait there for a while? I’m just gonna check something.” He didn’t wait for a response as he disappeared through a thin curtain, probably leading to the back of the store.

With that, Akaashi walked around the store, scanning the different trinkets and paintings as he passed them by. He couldn’t help the weird feeling that flowed within him as he imagined just how old most of the stuff in this store was. After a few more minutes of walking around, a certain item piqued his interest.

Sitting on an old mahogany desk, near the back of the store, was some sort of book. As he moved closer, he could see the state it was in. It was small, could probably fit in the pocket of his bag, the leather cover was worn and scratched, dust heavily coating it, pieces of paper were sticking out, the paper yellowing with age. He couldn’t explain it, but he somehow felt drawn to the battered book. Eyes trained on it; he slowly reached his hand out. But before he could touch it, a voice disrupted his trance.

“See something you like, young man?” The voice made him slightly jump as he retracted his hand, facing the owner. An old lady, probably in her seventies, was staring up at him with kind eyes and a warm smile. When he didn’t respond due to shock, the lady turned her head towards the book, humming as she did. “You’re the first person to ever give that thing a second glance.”

“What?”

“Most people just shrug it off when they learn of its story.” She explained, not taking her eyes off of the item.

“Why?”

“It’s the journal of a soldier from the old war. It was sold to me in that exact condition, minus the dust of course. Most of it is empty, the man stopped writing once he was shipped off.” She spoke softly, trying to recall the events of when the book was sold to her. “A young woman had come in to sell it to me years ago. Saying that the owner was a friend of her father’s. She was told to keep it safe, but due to lack of cash, she had hoped she could sell it for a few extra bucks. At first, I was skeptical to buy it, since it wasn’t really special, but I had taken pity on the girl, so I had given her some cash. Since then, it’s sat on this desk. It isn’t making me any money, but I just can’t bring myself to throw it out.”

Akaashi was silent as the lady finished her story. He didn’t know why, but the sight of the journal sparked something within him. Like some part of him was compelling him to just pick it up and pour into the old pages. He wanted to shrug it off but he just couldn’t. That’s when an idea lit up in his mind.

“How much for it?” He suddenly spoke, causing the lady to jump, eye widened.

“You want to buy it?” She asked with a surprised tone.

“I think it would work well for my college project.” He answered. It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the full truth.

Something in the woman’s eyes twinkled as if realizing something Akaashi didn’t know. But before he could ask for the price again, she spoke up. “Just 200 yen is enough.” When he was about to protest about the price, she spoke again. “It’s not that valuable, but I still need the income.”

Deciding that arguing would be fruitless, Akaashi bowed in thanks as the woman picked the item up. He was secretly glad that the journal hadn’t cost him that much. The journal had left a spot of wood dustless, indicating just how long it had sat there and collected dust. As the pair moved up to the counter, Konoha emerged from the back room.

“There you are, Hitomi-san. I’ve been looking for you.” He greeted the old lady. “Sorry for the wait, Akaashi.” He apologized as he turned to him. Hitomi simply hummed in acknowledgment as she walked behind the counter, grabbing a bag for the book. Konoha looked at her questioningly but before he could ask, she cut him off.

“So, you know him, Konoha-kun?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. That’s Akaashi.” It didn’t take long for him to put two and two together. “You’re buying something, Akaashi?”

“Mhm. Your friend decided to buy the old journal.” Hitomi answered for him.

“Why?” He asked with an incredulous look.

“I thought it’d be a good topic for my project.” Akaashi shrugged as he handed Hitomi his payment, accepting the bag in return.

Konoha had a skeptical look on his face, but he didn’t question any further. As if completely forgetting about the book, he shifted the topic to something else as Hitomi walked away from the two. Soon, the friends started to chat casually, catching up on their current life. Akaashi munching on his onigiri as he listened to his friend’s stories. They would’ve talked for hours, if it wasn’t for the dinging sound of Akaashi’s phone interrupting them, signaling that he had received a message.

 **From Kozume Kenma**  
 **To Akaashi Keiji:** Where are you? We’re about to leave.

That caused Akaashi to check the clock on his phone, realizing that more than an hour had passed. Eyes widening, he quickly typed out a message to his friend.

 **From Akaashi Keiji**  
 **To Kozume Kenma:** I didn’t realize the time. I’m sorry. I’m on my way.

He then turned to Konoha and bowed slightly. “Sorry to cut this short, but my friends are about to leave and I sort of need the ride home.”

Konoha simply waved him off. “It’s fine.” He chuckled. “But let’s stay in touch, okay? You still have my number?”

Akaashi nodded and said his goodbye with a promise to text the man occasionally. Before walking out, he turned towards Hitomi, bowing in thanks and saying his farewell. Once he was out of the store, he opened his phone to read Kenma’s message about their current location. Realizing that it was on the opposite side of the mall, he broke into a sprint.

And that’s how Kenma and Kuroo had come face to face with a panting and slightly sweaty Akaashi.

“Whoa. You look like you just ran a marathon.” Kuroo remarked as they watched Akaashi try to regain some oxygen in his lungs.

“I ran from the other side of the mall,” Akaashi spoke in between pants, slowly recollecting himself.

Kenma raised a brow, “You didn’t have to hurry, you know?”

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” Akaashi said as he stood up straight.

“So, shall we?” Kuroo spoke up.

After two nods of affirmation, the three of them made their way down to the parking lot. As Akaashi climbed in the backseat, Kenma noticed the paper bag in his hands.

“What’s that?” He asked, gesturing to the bag.

“This? I met a friend at the food court and decided to drop in the store he was working at.” He lifted a bit of the paper to let them peak inside. “I saw this journal and thought it’d be a good topic for my project.”

“A journal?” Kuroo asked as he started the engine.

Akaashi hummed, “The woman said that it was from a soldier who fought in the previous war. That’s something from the past, right?”

The two nodded in understanding, not saying anything else. The rest of the drive continued like that; the only sound was coming from Kenma’s PSP.

* * *

It wasn’t until the second day after the mall did Akaashi finally touch the journal. The night he had come home, he was overcome with exhaustion and sleep, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The next day, he had poured his full attention to his classes and other assignments. The journal was pushed into the back of his mind the entire time.

It had only resurfaced when he was cleaning out his desk, eyes settling on the paper bag that remained untouched. Sighing, he reached for the bag. Better to get over with it now to finish the project, he thought as he opened the bag.

As his fingers grazed the cover, a slight shiver went up his spine, his fingers tingling. Weird. But not weird enough to divert his attention, so he shrugged it off. Pulling it out, he quickly reached for a rag, wiping off the remaining dust.

With the dirt completely off, Akaashi’s eyes took notice of something that he didn’t see before. There engraved on the center of the cover was the letters, BK. Realizing that this must be the initials of the owner, he took a closer look. The way that the letters were written suggested that it was engraved using a blunt knife or a stick, digging into the cover. The letters themselves were messy and scrawny.

After surveying the rest of the outside, Akaashi flipped the book open. Most of the pages were indeed empty, he thought as he sifted through the pages. Some of the paper was ripped but that was the most damage that the book received.

Flipping back to the first page, he was met with the owner’s first account in the journal. The handwriting was the same as the letters in the cover, making Akaashi chuckle as he tried his best to decipher it. His eyes widened slightly when he realized that the date it was written was only a few weeks off from the date today.

**October 31, XXXX**

**Dear journal,**

**This is my first time writing in a journal, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Ji told me to write whatever thoughts I had or anything I wanted to say, but I don’t think they realize how hard it is to do that.**

**Ji was the one to give me this journal and told me to write in it. They also told me to keep their gender a secret and to not use our real names, in case anyone besides the two of us finds this. Privacy and all, they said.**

**I don’t know what else to say. I honestly find this a bit silly. I don’t see how writing can help me get my emotions out, but it seems to make Ji calm from all the worrying these past few days, so I’ll keep on writing for him. I’ll fill the entire book with my writings, then I’ll make Ji read it one day, that was our agreement.**

**That’s all I’ve got for now.**

**B.K.**

Akaashi chuckled as he finished the first page. The author sure seemed fond of this “Ji” person. And he could understand his sentiment on writing in a journal, for Akaashi himself had a journal of his own. But he liked the idea of writing out your thoughts and daily events in his small and private world. But it must not be everyone’s cup of tea. Interest piquing, he turned to the next page.

**November 1, XXXX**

**Dear journal,**

**It’s only a few more days before I leave for the war. I enlisted a few days ago, but I can’t help but feel nervous. Scared even.**

**Ji told me that it wasn’t like me to be scared and nervous. After all, most people knew me as someone brave and strong. One of the reasons why nobody was surprised when I enlisted. Not like we had a choice.**

**What Ji said made me smile, but we both knew that fear was inevitable with this war about to break out. I’ll do my best to fight and stay alive. But I just hope that the both of us could do that. Then when the war’s finally over, we could go back to living peacefully. Just the two of us.**

**I’ve got to go, Ji just walked in.**

**B.K.**

Something about the author’s words made Akaashi wonder about the underlying meaning in them. It was now clear that they had a relationship that was akin to lovers. But there was just something about the last paragraph that said something about the two’s relationship. If Akaashi could guess, he’d say that their relationship was forbidden. In what way? He couldn’t tell just yet.

Completely engrossed, Akaashi found himself continuously flipping page after page. Soaking in each and every word from the owner of the journal. Most of the entries spoke of the days leading to his departure. The author had been put under the same squad along with a few of his friends. He spoke of the preparations they’ve been doing and how families were slowly starting to prepare their goodbyes for the men in the town. And while he continued to talk about the war, it seemed that the author could never forget about mentioning ‘Ji’.

In every entry, the author would speak in detail about his lover. He would tell little stories about their daily life together. How he was so lucky to have them. It would go on to say how much he adored them. And it made Akaashi smile at the sweetness of it all.

He wasn’t a romantic, that’s for sure. He didn’t like romance novels all too much, but something about this journal made his heart flutter. And in his defense, anyone would melt at the adoring words that the author would use to describe his lover. It was saddening to think that they’d have to part. Akaashi chuckled at how the journal’s story was something out of a romance novel.

He continued reading until his eyes started to hurt a bit. And it wasn’t until the sound of the door closing, did he finally look up from the book, his neck aching from the strain he’d put on it.

“I’m home,” Kenma muttered from the doorway. “Have you been reading all day?” He asked as he shuffled closer to the desk.

Eyes widening, Akaashi looked out the window and at the clock on the wall. The sun was already setting and the clock had read 6:08 pm. He started reading after lunchtime, had he really been reading for that long?

“I guess I have.” He trailed off. “I didn’t even get dinner started, sorry Kenma.”

“It’s fine, me and Kuroo ate before he dropped me off.” Kenma waved him off as he moved towards his bedroom. “I’m turning in. Goodnight.”

Akaashi nodded as he watched the blonde close the door behind him. When he heard the lock click shut, his head whipped back to the journal. Turning the page over, his eyes subconsciously filled with sadness. It was the last written entry. He sighed sadly; he didn’t want it to end just yet, not that he would say it out loud. Setting the book down on the desk, he got comfortable as his eyes skimmed over each and every word.

**November 15, XXXX**

**Dear journal,**

**This may be the last time that I’ll be writing. I know I said that I’d finish the entire thing, but I’m just not sure if I can. I’m leaving tomorrow and as soon as that happens, my future will be blurry. I’m not sure if I’ll make it in time to finish this journal, so I’m ending it while I still can.**

**I’ll be keeping this journal with me for the time being, but I won’t be writing anything.**

**If I somehow die and someone else is reading this, please return it to the person whose name is written in the paper inside my pocket. They’re the rightful owner of this journal, so I’d wish for you to give it back.**

**Ji, I’m sorry I couldn’t finish it like I promised you. But I meant what I said to you a few hours ago. I want to spend my, probably, last days with you. And I want to keep those memories to myself, treasure them in my mind, rather than write it on a piece of paper for someone else to read. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be able to bring this flimsy old journal to my next life.**

~~**If I do die** ~~

**I know you don’t believe in that kind of stuff, with reincarnation, but I sure do. We’ll meet again in a different life. We probably won’t remember anything from this life and we’ll probably meet in the weirdest way possible. But I don’t care as long as I’ll see you again.**

**I promise you that much. We’ll meet again, I’ll make sure that we do. If I have to fight the gods, I will.**

**Love,**

**Bokuto Koutaro**

Akaashi didn’t realize the tears that were building in his eyes until they had started falling down his face. He quickly wiped them away, in fear of being caught crying over a book, even if no one else was in the room. He didn’t know why, but the entire passage had made his heart clench. He could feel the emotions coming off of each word. The fear, the uncertainty, and the love.

He felt as if the words were directed to him. Something he quickly laughed away. What a stupid idea. He wasn’t a hopeless romantic in need of a love life but he couldn’t help the slight envy for ‘Ji’. To have someone so sweet and adoring. Someone who probably looked at them as if they were his entire world. Someone like…

“Bokuto Koutaro…” The name rolled off his tongue naturally. As if he’s been saying it for years, despite having only heard of it now.

He was embarrassed to say that he had grown quite an attachment to the man. His words and stories made his heart flutter. Something about the way he wrote made it feel as if the words were being said to Akaashi, himself. But he always stopped those fleeting thoughts before they could grow. He wasn’t about to succumb to the fantasy of liking someone from decades ago, who was already with someone and was most likely dead. Still, it was hard to fight off the smile that forced its way onto his face whenever the adoration and love for ‘Ji’ spilled its way out of the pages.

Unfortunately, the light-hearted atmosphere in the room took a turn as Akaashi realized that this was the last entry from Bokuto. Selfishly, he didn’t want it to end just yet. He wanted to know if Bokuto had survived the war, and if so, did he get together with ‘Ji’? Or did he end up dying?

It was like a book that the author had left on a cliffhanger and never got back to it. The story ended just like that. And Akaashi would be lying if he said that he was fine with it. Was he being selfish? Probably. But in his defense, he could be selfish since it wasn’t going to change anything anyway.  
So, in a spur of emotions, he picked up the nearest pen and started scribbling on an empty page.

What is he trying to achieve with this, you may ask? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was to give himself something close to an ending. Maybe it’d give him some peace of mind. Or maybe, somehow, Bokuto would read it and continue to write.

He chuckled at the impossibility of the last one, but he kept writing. Once he had finished, he set the pen down and shut the journal closed. He stood up and headed for his bedroom, not giving the journal another glance.


	2. Chapter 2

Koutaro awoke to the blinding rays of sunlight peeking through their window. With a groan, he shielded his sensitive eyes from the light with one hand while the other searched for the warmth from the other side of the bed. After patting down the empty sheets, he let out a soft groan as he sat up.

Once he had fully awakened, he shuffled out of bed, grabbing the nearest undershirt he could find and slipping it on. He made his way down the small hallway and into the kitchen. And the sight he was met with was a sight that would instantly brighten his morning, no matter how sleepy he was.

Standing near the stove, cooking their breakfast, was his beloved, Keiji. His dark raven hair was still ruffled from sleep and his small frame looked even smaller while wearing Koutaro’s shirt. The man was too busy to notice the other presence within the room. Even when he turned to grab a plate, he had yet to notice his partner standing by the doorway.

Koutaro sighed, a smile making its way onto his face. One of the many things he adored about Keiji, was the face he made whenever he was deep in thought. And since Keiji’s mind was always racing, Koutaro has experienced the pleasure of frequently seeing it on the ravenette’s face.

How his eyes would remain downcast but still soft. His brows would furrow, creating a small crease on his forehead. How he would lick his lips whenever they got too dry, due to his mouth always being slightly agape as if the words he was thinking were ready to spill out. He’d also fiddle with his fingers if he wasn’t holding onto something.

After a few more moments of observing, Koutaro slowly made his way towards the ravenette, who remained unaware. He slowly wrapped his large arms around the other’s small waist, who was in the middle of transferring the eggs onto a plate. The man slightly jumped, but no other reaction was elicited, being used to the action.

“Koutaro…” Keiji sighed as he placed his hands over Koutaro’s arms.

Koutaro didn’t say a word, simply nuzzling his nose and mouth into the crook of the other’s neck. His lips lightly grazed over a mark on Keiji’s neck, which he had created from just last night. The teal-eyed man sighed again and they stayed like that for a few seconds, basking in the peacefulness of their morning.

Slowly, Keiji shifted and moved Koutaro’s arms, loose enough for him to turn around and face the owl-like man. He rested his hands on his shoulders as Koutaro’s grip tightened once more, pulling Keiji closer.

“Good morning,” Keiji whispered, not daring to break the serene silence.

Koutaro’s face broke out into a smile. “Good morning.” He whispered back. Slowly, he lifted his head to plant a kiss on Keiji’s forehead, one of his hands coming up to press onto the back of his head, deepening the kiss. Keiji let out a small giggle that sounded like a symphony in Koutaro’s ears.

Remember when he said that he adored Keiji’s “thinking” face? Well, he loves this face so much more. The one that would only show when they were alone in their little world. The smile that he hardly shared with the world, reserved for Koutaro only, would surface. His entire face would relax, making his usual sharp features look softer, like an angel. But what Koutaro loved most about this face were his eyes.

His teal eyes which are usually so guarded would soften. Their color would brighten, as if they were being hit by an inexistent light, resembling the color of a stormy sky. And Koutaro liked to express his fondness for the perfect description of Keiji’s eyes. How his eyes would look as stormy as his ever-racing mind. It also held the mystery that Koutaro loved to solve. Solve whatever kept Keiji’s thoughts preoccupied. And in all honesty, Koutaro would never get tired of looking into those eyes.

“Come on, breakfast is ready,” Keiji spoke after a few minutes of silence, pulling away from him.

And just like that, Koutaro was broken out of his lovestruck trance. Shaking his head in an attempt to collect himself, he reached for the plates and silverware, almost dropping the chopsticks. His ears didn’t miss the giggle that came from the other side of the kitchen. He faced Keiji with a small pout, to which the ravenette simply shook his head. A small smile on his lips as he carried the breakfast out and onto the small table in their so-called dining room.

Something out of a fairytale is what Keiji would fondly call their tiny house. It was a small one-story, two-bedroom, one-bathroom house surrounded by tall trees. It was a ways-away from the nearest town, about an hour's worth of walking. But the two of them didn’t mind the distance, preferring it over the compact life they would live in the town, a much easier target to prying and judgmental eyes.

Their house was mostly made out of wood and stone, almost feeling like a cabin. A stone-path, surrounded by wildflowers, weaved its way from the front door to the main road, just outside the forest. There was a small furnace, for the winters, in the corner of their living/dining space. Their kitchen was small, but it was large enough for them to be able to walk around without bumping into each other. And while there were two bedrooms, only one was being occupied. The other being converted into a small study for Keiji.

It wasn’t the grandest of lives, but Koutaro wouldn’t exchange it for anything. He didn’t need those fancy machines or television boxes or automobiles. Sure, sometimes, the winters were too cold and human-interaction was seldom. But he didn’t mind. He was happy in their fairytale-like cottage, living his fairytale life with the love of his life.

* * *

As soon as breakfast was over, the two went out to town for their weekly groceries. On the way, they bumped into their close friends, Kuroo Tetsurou and Kozume Kenma.

Koutaro’s been friends with Tetsurou for almost five years. And as a package deal, he met Kenma, Tetsurou’s childhood friend. Together, the four of them built this close-knit group. They always spent time with each other, whenever it was possible. And they all understood each other, to the point where verbal communication was no longer needed for them to know what was wrong. It also helped their relationship when both pairs were secret lovers.

“They’re starting to gather enlistments.” Tetsurou, brought up in their conversation while they ate at the local diner.

“So soon?” Keiji asked from beside Koutaro.

Tetsurou nodded solemnly, letting their table go back to its former silence, except this one was much tenser. Koutaro bit his lip in thought, suddenly losing his appetite.

“Are we gonna…” He spoke softly, not even finishing the sentence. But the others still knew what it meant.

“We don’t have a choice.” Keiji sighed, shaking his head softly.

With the silence that followed, Koutaro let his thoughts wander. It was true that they had no way out of enlisting, it was a requirement for every man in every town. Still, Koutaro wished there was another way for them to avoid the war. Stories and gossips from around the town were enough to tell them that the current war was cataclysmic. It wasn’t that he was scared of dying or seeing the gruesome reality of war. No. His fears were for the people he was sitting with right now.

While he knew that Tetsurou could handle himself, the man was just as reckless as he was, only surpassing Koutaro’s impulsiveness by a few inches. He’d do anything to protect his precious people. Which led to Koutaro gazing at Kenma. It was no secret to anyone that Kenma wasn’t cut out for war. The poor guy was too inactive and small, he wouldn’t be able to hold his own in the trenches. No offense, Koutaro thought.

Tetsurou would do anything to make sure Kenma was safe, but who knows how long they’d last with that kind of situation. And this was only if they were put in the same squad! How long would they last apart?

And while all these fears were valid and worrying, there was still one fear that stood out among the rest. Keiji.

Koutaro knew that Keiji was strong, sometimes stronger than him. But that didn’t stop the golden-eyed man from being scared to death. How would Keiji be able to handle the horrors of war? If they were separated, how would Koutaro be able to handle being away from Keiji?

He does not and will never want to leave Keiji alone. So, just the thought of him laying down to rest, while the love of his life was probably still out and fighting shook him to the core. Heck, just the thought of Keiji being in the trenches, vulnerable to the enemy bullets, made Koutaro want to burst out in tears.

You must be thinking, isn’t Koutaro scared for himself? Yes, of course, he is. But what scares him most is what would happen _if_ he dies, potentially leaving Keiji alone. He already knows that he wouldn’t be able to survive if he loses Keiji, but how would he fare with Koutaro’s death?

“Koutaro.” Keiji’s soft voice broke Koutaro out of his trance. Snapping his head up, he realized that Tetsurou and Kenma had already gone. How long had he been thinking?

“Let’s go.” Keiji urged, tugging at his arm.

They made their way out of the diner and back into the busy streets of the town. Koutaro replaced the tense air with a lighter one with his talking. He tried his best to joke and talk about anything and everything to distract Keiji and it seemed to be working.

Soon, both of them were chatting happily, walking side by side on the slightly crowded sidewalk. Making sure to keep a reasonable distance from each other, so as to not draw any stares or attention. The thought of people’s disgusted stares if they ever got too close to each other, honestly made Koutaro want to lash out at them to mind their own business, while simultaneously punching said people’s faces.

They would’ve continued like that for the rest of the walk if it weren’t for Keiji cutting Koutaro off from one of his stories.

“Bokuto.” He called, using Koutaro’s surname.

Koutaro turned to him in response, but Keiji simply raised his finger, silently pointing to something in front of them. Tracing the finger’s direction to the enlistment center, Koutaro felt as if his heart just dropped.

The enlistment center was just an abandoned warehouse near the city hall. And it would’ve remained as such in Koutaro’s eyes if it weren’t for the cluster of men bustling in and out of its doors and the soldiers hollering for passerby men to enlist. Koutaro tore his eyes away from the building, facing his lover.

Keiji’s eyes were blown wide, the teal color turning darker with fear and nervousness, a storm brewing within them. His eyebrows were pressed together and his forehead creased, an evident sign that his mind was racing. He was licking his lips, in a poor attempt to moisten his dry lips. And he was fiddling with his fingers, a nervous tick.

It was the “thinking” face that Koutaro would normally adore. But right now, he hated it, since he knew that the reason it was on his face was anything but positive.

And it took all of Koutaro’s willpower to prevent himself from walking closer to the bespectacled man until their foreheads touched. To hold his hands to stop them from fidgeting. To kiss the furrowed brows until they relaxed. To kiss his lips so they’d regain their moisture. And to stare into those dark eyes until the storm inside them calmed.

But he wasn’t that impulsive. He wasn’t about to put both of them in danger like that, especially when they were surrounded by hundreds of men. So, as a way to compensate for the desire to calm his love down, Koutaro walked up to him with a calming smile. He opened his mouth to say that they should head back home, but he was interrupted by a gruff voice.

“You two!” It called, causing the two to turn in its direction. It was an older man dressed in their army’s uniform. “Have you both signed up yet?” He asked harshly, jabbing his thumb towards the building behind him.

Both boys shook their heads softly. “No,” Koutaro answered for both of them. “Sir.” He added when Keiji elbowed him in the stomach.

The man raised a brow, staring holes at both of them as if he was waiting for something else. “Well?” He asked. “What are you standing around here for? Get going!” He demanded.

Koutaro knew that he didn’t mean to go away.

He turned to Keiji with a desperate look, silently asking him what to do. Keiji simply smiled at him. Sadly, he noticed.

“Better to get this over with.” He softly spoke. Koutaro sighed, knowing that he was right.

Nodding, he started to reluctantly walk towards the enlistment center, Keiji slowly trailing behind him. He could still feel the soldier’s heated stare at the back of his head, but he didn’t turn back.

They both stayed silent throughout the entire process. But every time Koutaro took one step into the line he wanted to scream out. It was nerve-wracking as he stepped closer to the desk at the end of the empty warehouse. And while he saw others who shared the same sentiment as him, he still found that most people in line were buzzing with excitement. He wanted to scream at them, to tell them that this was nothing to be excited for. But he knew that nothing could change their minds, and even if they did, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

“Name?” The soldier at the desk asked him.

“Bokuto Koutaro.”

“Age?”

It went on like that until the soldier acquired all the needed information from him. The man nodded and handed him a slip of paper, proof that he was now enlisting for the army.

“Thank you for your willing participation in your country’s cause.” He said in a bored tone, as if he’s been saying it the entire day, he probably did.

Koutaro wanted to roll his eyes. It’s not like he had a choice in the first place, he thought bitterly as he moved away from the table. He gave Keiji a soft look and a nod in reassurance as he passed him.

Once both of them were done, they started the silent trek back to the house. Koutaro didn’t need to fully face Keiji to know that the man was overthinking again. He bit his lip and opened his mouth to try and lighten the mood.

“Hey, why don’t we—”

“Could you leave without me?” Keiji abruptly cut him off. When he met Koutaro’s confused eyes, he flushed a bit. “I mean…Could you head on home first?” He asked.

“Huh? What about you?” Koutaro asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“I think…I should take a walk first,” Keiji confessed with a bashful expression.

Koutaro knew what he meant. There were times like these where Keiji would need time alone to recollect himself. And Koutaro always granted this space for him. He knew and trusted that Keiji could fight his own battles. Of course, Koutaro wished he could help and he would always jump at the chance to do so, but he knew that Keiji needed this.

“Besides,” Keiji continued when Koutaro stayed silent. “We can’t exactly go home together now, can we?” He let out a small smile.

Koutaro shook his head lightly, returning the smile. “No,” He laughed. “And sure. I’ll go on ahead. Just stay safe, alright?”

Keiji nodded, “Of course. I’ll see you later, okay?” He spoke as he turned in the opposite direction of their path, back into town.

Koutaro simply smiled and waved. He was about to walk away when he turned back. “Hey, Akaashi.” He called to him. Luckily, he hadn’t walked too far. “I’ll be here when you come back, okay?”

Keiji smiled softly, proof that he understood the message underneath Koutaro’s words.

‘Even if you go away for a while, I’ll be here waiting for you.’

Nodding, he turned away and walked back into town. Koutaro smiled as he watched his lover’s retreating form. It was only until he was out of his view did Koutaro turn away and continue the walk back home.

* * *

“I’m home,” Keiji called out.

Koutaro was busy with dinner when he heard this, but he immediately dropped everything in favor of greeting his partner.

“Welcome home.” He greeted warmly as he wiped his hands on his apron. While doing so, he took a look at Keiji’s current state.

He looked, somewhat, better than this afternoon. Koutaro could tell because his eyes were slightly brighter. Keiji looked tired, probably from walking all day, but he seemed calmer and happier, which made Koutaro smile.

“What’chu got there?” He asked, eyeing the paper bag that Keiji had brought home.

“This?” Keiji held up the bag while looking at it and Koutaro could’ve sworn that he saw him blush. “It’s just some extra things I decided to get for work.”

“Oh, okay. Well, go and sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” He said as he walked back into the kitchen. Keiji followed him inside with a raised brow.

“You _made_ dinner?” He asked skeptically as he leaned on the doorframe. “I’m surprised that the kitchen’s still standing.”

“Hey! That was one time.” Koutaro spluttered, “And I _can_ cook and you know it.” He raised a finger at him as he tried to defend himself. “Just the simple stuff.” He deflated as he mumbled the last part but Keiji heard it nonetheless if the giggle was anything to go by.

“I was just teasing, Kou.” Keiji appeased as he walked closer to the sulking owl. He kissed his forehead as he grabbed the plates from behind Koutaro’s head. “And I know you can cook,” Koutaro instantly brightened, but Keiji smirked mischievously. “Sometimes.” With that, Keiji disappeared into the hallway.

“Keijiiiii!” Koutaro groaned as he ran after the ravenette, forgetting about the food on the stove.

Luckily, dinner was still edible by the time they had remembered it. They ate the food in comfortable silence and they both soon found themselves getting ready for bed.

“Hey, Keiji, are you heading out for work tomorrow?” He called out from the bathroom to his partner. When he was met with silence, he walked out and into the bedroom.

There, Keiji was sitting in bed, propped up on his pillows. He was fiddling with his fingers on his lap as he pulled his “thinking” face on. It didn’t look like he was thinking of something negative—in fact, Koutaro found it cute—but he was still concerned.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, but Keiji seemed to be in his world. So, Koutaro shuffled closer and sat himself down on the bed. Facing Keiji as he sat crisscross, he reached out for the fiddling hands which immediately halted upon contact.

Keiji jumped slightly as he faced him. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice you.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked again.

“Nothing,” Keiji answered, a bit too quickly and not meeting his eyes.

“Keiji,” He drawled as he slumped back. “You keep saying that I’m a terrible liar, but you’re just as bad as me.” He said accusingly as he pouted childishly.

Keiji tried to suppress a snicker with his hand but failed. Instinctively, Koutaro smiled. “It’s nothing.” Keiji insisted. “Nothing serious.”

At this, Koutaro’s face transformed into that of concern and seriousness. “Is it about the war?”

Keiji froze but didn’t say anything. He seemed to want to negate the assumption, but a few seconds he let out a defeated sigh. “Yes.”

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” He asked carefully.

“Not really,” Keiji whispered back.

“Okay.”

They spend the next few minutes in silence. The air wasn’t necessarily tense but more solemn. Neither spoke as they shuffled around the bed, trying to settle in. Koutaro wanted to press Keiji more, but he learned from experience that Keiji would come to him when the other thought he was ready.

When he was about to sink into the pillow, he heard a heavy sigh come from the other side of the bed. The abrupt shifting and loss of weight on the mattress had him bolting up.

“Where are you going?” He asked as he sat up.

“Just…wait a minute,” Keiji replied as he walked over to the dresser. He picked up the paper bag that he had brought and shuffled back into bed, facing Koutaro but not meeting his eyes.

“What’s that?”

Keiji let out a shaky breath as he spoke softly, “I’ll explain. Just promise you won’t say anything until I’m done.” He peered at Koutaro as he said this. When he was given an affirmative nod, he started speaking.

“I took a walk earlier, hoping to clear my mind. But it didn’t seem to work since all I could think about was the war.” He paused before he said the last word as if saying the word would solidify their reality. And in a way, for Koutaro, it did.

“I don’t know a lot about war, and I had hoped that I never would, but I know that war isn’t without casualties.” He continued as he fiddled with the bag. “I don’t know what’ll happen to us out there. I’m scared to think that something bad might happen. That we could…lose each other.” Koutaro wanted to interrupt him, so bad, assuring him that that’s not going to happen. But one look from Keiji had him snapping his mouth shut.

“That’s why,” He reached into the paper bag, pulling out a leather notebook. “I bought this.” He set it down in the space between them. Expecting Koutaro’s perplexed face, he elaborated. “I thought to…give it to you. You could write in it like a journal, write about anything that comes to your mind. Your stories, jokes, feelings, anything.” He looked at Koutaro expectantly, but when he didn’t say anything, he added. “You can speak now.”

“I don’t follow.” Was the first thing that came out of his mouth. Keiji let out a small amused smile at this.

“I know it might sound ridiculous and desperate, but I was thinking…if…one of us didn’t…make it, we’d have something to hold onto.” He spoke hesitantly, as he stared at his lap. “It’s stupid, I know, since we only have a few more days left and we don’t even know if we’ll be in the same squad, but I just need something from you.”

“Keiji…” Koutaro whispered.

“I want to be able to have something if you were to die, okay? Something that would remind me of you and the good memories we have of each other.” He rambled as he started fiddling with his fingers.

“Keiji.” He spoke a little louder.

“Same thing if I were to pass. You can just write our happy moments and you’d remember me if I go away.”

“Keiji,” Koutaro spoke with a stern voice and holding tightly onto Keiji’s wrists, immediately cutting the ravenette off. “Why would you think that?” He asked, concern lacing his voice. He must admit, he thought of this as well, but he didn’t expect Keiji to think this far ahead.

“War isn’t without casualties, Koutaro.” He replied as he lifted his eyes to meet with Koutaro’s.

The owl-man sighed; he was right. “But, why me?” He asked something different this time. “You’re the writer between the two of us. So, why me?”

Keiji let out a huff as he stared back down. “It’s a bit selfish and extremely pessimistic, I admit. But if _you_ were the one to…I wanted something that was created by you. I thought that maybe I could read it when I miss you and I’d hear your voice instead of mine.” His voice quivered as he spoke.

“Keiji,” Koutaro whispered. “Don’t say that Ji.” he cupped his lover’s face, forcing his close-to-tears eyes to stare into Koutaro’s gold ones. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“You don’t know that, Kou,” Keiji whispered, voice shaky as his eyes gathered more tears. “I just…I don’t know if I’d be able to handle you leaving me, Koutaro.” He sobbed out, releasing the floodgates. “This was the only way I could think of. Something that could hopefully ease the pain of not being with you anymore. Not hearing your stories, your jokes, your laughter. Not seeing your smile. Not seeing you.”

Koutaro’s heart broke as he stared at his crying beloved. He immediately engulfed him into his embrace. He felt him clutching at his shirt, crying his heart out as tears and snot smeared onto it. But Koutaro couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he was trying so hard not to burst into tears as well. He wanted nothing more than to comfort him, to tell him to stop worrying. But he’d be lying to not only himself but Keiji as well if he said that he didn’t worry about a future without Keiji.

A future of not being able to read Keiji’s latest works. A future of not being able to taste his amazing cooking. Not waking up to an empty bed but coming out to a tasty breakfast. Not seeing his varied but adorable expressions. Not being able to hear his angelic voice which would help in getting him out of his slump. Not being able to kiss him so passionately every chance he got. Not being able to hold him in his arms like right now.

All these thoughts had Koutaro pulling the sobbing figure closer to him, holding on tightly. The ravenette not minding one bit, much preferring to lose some of his oxygen supply than to separate from the loving and protecting arms of his lover. They stayed like that for a few more minutes, until the sobbing had faded into sniffles.

“I know it’s not much,” Koutaro whispered. “But I promise to do my best to stay alive.”

Keiji didn’t answer immediately, but Koutaro felt him tense then relax, and soon moved away from his arms. “That means a lot, Kou.” He replied as he wiped away the remaining tears from his eyes. “And I promise to try and stay alive as well.”

Koutaro smiled as he moved closer, leaning into Keiji. Their lips met and their eyes automatically closed to savor the feeling of the kiss. It was short and sweet, but it sealed their promise. When they pulled away, they rested their forehead against each other.

“I’ll come back to you,” Koutaro whispered, staring into those beautiful teal eyes, watching the storm calm.

Keiji smiled as he whispered, “I will as well.”

Closing both of their eyes, they basked in the loving and peaceful atmosphere. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours before Keiji spoke up.

“So, will you do it?” He asked as he peered into Koutaro’s eyes.

The man, in turn, let out a small laugh as he let out a bright smile. “Yes. I promised to do it.”

“Thank you.” Keiji smiled as he left a small peck on Koutaro’s lips. After that, he pulled away completely. “We should probably sleep now.” He said as he gestured to the clock, signaling that they were way into the night.

“We should.” Koutaro laughed as they settle into the sheets.

Silence filled the air as they both started to succumb to slumber, but before they fully fell asleep, Koutaro spoke up.

“What if we end up living through the war?”

Keiji was silent for a while before he spoke. “Well, then you’ll just have to keep on writing until you finish the whole thing.”

Koutaro pouted, “That’s too much work.” He suppressed a yawn as his eyes slowly started closing on their own.

“Then I’ll help you from time to time,” Keiji replied. “Once we’re done, have me read it, okay?”

Too tired to answer back, Koutaro simply nodded. And before he saw black, he felt lips pressing against his forehead. They spend the remaining hours of the night passed out in each other’s arms.

* * *

A sigh escaped Koutaro’s lips as he forced himself to write. To write that he was going to stop writing in this journal. And to write an explanation as to why. Truthfully, he didn’t have a good enough motivation to write, other than promising Keiji to do so. And of course, he had done so, because of Keiji. He wanted to keep his promise to him, despite not understanding some of Keiji’s sentiments towards this journal.

But now, he was leaving for war in the next 24 hours. A commitment to writing in a journal seemed minuscule compared to his other worries. He probably has to come up with a better excuse than that. While he may not like the journal that much, he still wants to keep Keiji happy, even if just for a few more hours.

“Koutaro?” Keiji’s soft voice broke through his racing thoughts as he turned to face the man. “Dinner’s ready.”

Koutaro simply nodded as he stood up from the desk, following Keiji out into the dining area. For the entire day, small talk and physical affirmations were the peaks of their interactions. Scared to face their gloomy reality, they flitted around each other, not knowing what to do or say to bring any sort of comfort or affection to the other. It was as if they had gone back to how they were when they first started dating. Dancing around each other’s feelings, scared to overstep or upset the other.

On any other night, their tiny house would be filled with giggles, jokes, and light words of affection. Now, they ate dinner, washed dishes, and cleaned up in utter silence. And it broke Koutaro’s heart on not knowing what to do.

He let out a deep sigh as he walked out of the bathroom, a towel on his shoulders to catch the dripping water from his hair. He stopped mid-walk when he saw Keiji standing by the desk, the journal in his hands. His eyes widened as his mind started racing.

It wasn’t a surprise to see Keiji reading the journal since it also technically belonged to him. Koutaro just wasn’t expecting him to read it right now. Not when Koutaro had bluntly said that he was going to stop writing. He was worried about Keiji’s reaction. He stood there in the middle of the room, staring at the ravenette as his brain tried to conjure up a better excuse. But all those thoughts flew out the window as soon as Koutaro caught a glimpse of Keiji’s sad and, what looked like, disappointed expression.

“Keiji, I can exp—”

“I kind of knew you’d stop.” Keiji cut him off. Koutaro’s heart cracking at the ravenette’s attempt to smile despite the disappointment and sadness in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I tried to force you to do something. Even when I knew that you had no interest in these kinds of things. I was being selfish. Sorry.”

Koutaro belatedly realized that the disappointment in the teal-eyed man’s face was directed at himself, rather than Koutaro, which still broke his heart.

“Keiji,” He spoke softly as he shuffled close to the younger man. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything. You just wanted something to make you happy. You can’t be sorry for something that makes you happy.” He said with a smile, hands reaching out for the other’s, intertwining their fingers. “But _I’m_ sorry that I couldn’t do that for you.” His smile turned apologetic.

Keiji shook his head softly as his smile turned a little less sad. “I know.”

“You should be sorry for interrupting though,” Koutaro said, a childish tone in his voice.

He internally laughed at Keiji’s confused face. “What?” He mumbled, eyes wide and eyebrows raised in confusion.

“You didn’t let me finish.” Koutaro laughed, making Keiji even more confused. His amused face, however, turned soft as his free hand reached up to cup the other’s cheek. “I was going to say that the reason I didn’t want to write in that journal is that I want to keep our memories to myself. I’m selfish, but I’m not sorry.” Keiji laughed. “Our past and future memories…I want them to be kept between us, and only us. Nobody has to see them but us. _If_ I were to die, I want them to stay and die with me and not be passed on to some journal.”

Silence followed after that until small sniffles filled the room’s air. Keiji had tears streaming down his face with a smile that could send Koutaro to heaven and back.

“Kou…”

The next thing Koutaro knew, he had an armful of a ravenette pushing his lips against his as they stumbled back into the bed. For the rest of the night, they forgot all about yesterday or tomorrow, lost in the ethereal giddiness and beauty of today.

**November 17, YYYY**

**Dear Bokuto-san,**

**I don’t know you. I also don’t know why I’m writing in this journal, since I highly doubt, you’d be able to read it.**

**I know it sounds creepy and weird, but I read your journal. And for some reason, your story drew me in. As if it was a New York Times Bestseller. Your love for ‘Ji’ is heartwarming. And as embarrassing as it may sound, it makes me feel all giddy as if I was reading a masterpiece created by Shakespeare.**

**But enough about that. The reason I’m writing in this journal is to tell you to not stop writing. I don’t know ‘Ji’ nor do I know their reaction to your discontinued work, but I somehow have an urge to persuade you to continue writing.**

**My words might not affect you in the slightest, but I want you to know that the contents of this journal have brought happiness to me, so who knows how much happiness Ji will feel if he were to ever read it.**

**I’m not forcing you or anything. If you’d like, I’d advise you to not “report” to this journal every day. Do it at times when you’re overwhelmed with emotion or are in need of someone to vent to when Ji is preoccupied. Don’t force yourself.**

**Wow. I’ve said a lot now. I’m sorry. Well, I must go now. And while it might not mean much now, I wish you safety and good luck in this war and your relationship.**

**Sincerely, A.K.**

Koutaro stared at the journal, laid out on the fabric of his cot.

What the—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing fluff...and I think I did okay? Idk. I also like to think that the reason that Koutaro's POV has a lot more going on is cuz Koutaro's life is much more lively? He has more things going on in his life and its more eventful. While Akaashi's life is, for lack of a better term, boring (for now).
> 
> I think that makes sense, but really I'm just trying to find a better excuse for my inconsistent writing style. But anyway, thanks for reading! Tell me what you think down below! See you next time! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry that this is shorter than usual, but I rlly just wanted to get it out there right now. I literally just finished this a few minutes ago so I haven't fully reread it yet. But edits will be made once I do. I promise to make the next chapter longer! I just wanna share the chapter right now. Have a little dose of AkaKen friendship as a compensation.
> 
> Enough of my rambling, hope u enjoy!

The journal had been forgotten for a few days, somewhat.

It wasn’t as if he purposefully forgot about it. Oh no. Akaashi still had his mind preoccupied with the journal for those few days. The reason he hasn’t actually seen it since that night was because of the sudden avalanche of homework that his professors deemed “good” for his studies.

Really though, half of the work was actually just for the sake of the professors saying that they gave them work. At least, that’s what Akaashi thought but never mind that.

Back to the story, we now have a flustered and exhausted Akaashi buried in the throw pillow on the couch, drained from the workload that he _just_ finished today. His hand reached for his phone on the coffee table before Kenma walked in, cleaning supplies in hand since he was tasked with cleaning duty today.

Akaashi wouldn’t have minded the blonde’s presence in the room had he not brought dust and dirt down to fill Akaashi’s nostrils.

“Must you clean here, _now_?” Akaashi groaned as he reached for a tissue.

Kenma hummed in disinterest, clearly not sorry for interrupting the ravenette’s peace. “If I don’t do it now, I’ll end up not doing it later. And you’ll end up nagging me for it.” He deadpanned as he moved towards cleaning out Akaashi’s desk.

Akaashi rolled his eyes before he splayed himself out on the couch. Silence filled the room for about a minute before Kenma spoke up. “Hey, when are you ever gonna put this journal away?”

Akaashi, who was on the verge of napping, snapped his attention towards the blonde gesturing to the journal sitting dead center on his desk. Since that night, he hardly moved the journal out of its place, only nudging it to the side when he needed the space. He didn’t want to say why he never put it away, but let’s just say it had something to do with his still jumbled feelings.

“Whenever I’ll feel like it, I guess.” He opted to answer.

“Well, could you please do it, _now_?”

Akaashi raised a brow at the hint of pleading in the blonde’s tone. “Why?”

Kenma sighed before he rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know. Its just…It gives me weird vibes.” He admitted as he peered at the journal from the corner of his eyes. “Like I’m supposed to do something with it.”

“You too?” Akaashi ended up blurting before he could think.

Kenma looked perplexed at the ravenette’s unexpected reply. “What do you mean? You experience it too?”

Akaashi wavered for a bit, licking his lips in hesitancy. “Not exactly like your situation, but something akin to it.” He relented. The silence and questioning look from the blonde urged him to elaborate. “I don’t know why, but when I first read it, something felt familiar. Like I’ve seen it or read it before. Hell, simply touching it felt familiar, that’s why I hardly moved it out of its place. It makes me feel as though I have some sort of responsibility or task with it. Like I’m supposed to remember something from it.”

A beat of silence before Kenma answered, “You think it’s cursed?”

Akaashi couldn’t suppress the snort, shaking his head softly. “I doubt. It gives off way too much of a positive energy to me for it to be cursed.”

Kenma smiled before he reached for the journal.

“What are you doing?” Akaashi asked, defensive tone slowly seeping in. There was no way in hell was he letting Kenma find out that he wrote in the journal, with a bit of hope that a reply would appear. No way.

“Just gonna see what the fuss is about with this thing.” He was already flipping through the pages.

Akaashi sprang out of the couch when the blonde neared the page of his entry. Now, the both of them hardly had that thing you called strength, so the ravenette’s movements and the blondes’ lack of awareness had resulted in them toppling into the ground, journal flying away.

“Hey, what the?” The blonde asked from underneath the teal-eyed man.

“Sorry.” Akaashi apologized as he scrambled to grab the book, which was lying on the ground wide open. “Just didn’t want you to see—.” He froze.

“See what?” Kenma asked as he stood up, dusting himself off.

Akaashi’s eyes were blown wide as he stared at the open journal. His hands trembling as he held it. His mouth was agape, having cut himself off from what he was saying.

“What is it?” Kenma asked again as he peered over the other’s shoulder. He froze as well as his eyes widened, but not as wide as Akaashi’s.

What the—

**_November 18, XXXX_ **

**_Dear whoever you are,_ **

**_First of all, who the fuck are you? How did you get this journal? Where’d you get it? Who told you to snoop in it and write, no less?_ **

**_When I found out who you are, you better have a good fucking excuse. And you better not have spilt whatever you read to anyone else, otherwise, I’ll have to deck you._ **

The letter stopped there, the author not even bothering to sign his name.

Akaashi stood there frozen as he tried to make sense of what he’d just seen. Maybe this was all just a trick in the light. Or maybe…?

“Hey, what’s wrong? You surprised the guy cussed?” Kenma asked from over his shoulder, concern lacing his tone despite his try for a joke.

“This wasn’t funny, Kenma.”

“Huh?”

Akaashi turned to look at the blonde with unbelieving eyes. “ _This_ was not funny.” He repeated as he held the book up.

Kenma still looked confused. “What do you mean?”

Akaashi sighed, “I know you did this. It’s not funny to prank me like that.”

Kenma’s confused face then turned into that of realization. “Wait, you think _I_ wrote that?”

Akaashi suppressed a scoff. “Who else? Kuroo-san hasn’t been here for days and you’re the only one that regularly sees this thing.”

“Woah, ‘Kaashi, I would never do that kind of stuff.” Kenma defended. “Besides, we both know that I’d never go out of my way to pranks and shit.”

Akaashi sighed in defeat, knowing that what the blonde said was true. “I know, sorry. I was just…shocked 's all.”

Kenma sported a small smile, “You sure are.” He teased at Akaashi’s subdued expression before he turned curious. “About what though?”

Akaashi sighed for the umpteenth time that day, before staring directly into the blonde’s eyes. “Fine, I’ll tell you. But! I won’t repeat myself and you better not make fun.”

Kenma shrugged, “Depends on if I find it funny.”

Akaashi sent a glare, but it held no malice, knowing this was the best answer he was going to get from his friend. Releasing a sigh, Akaashi went on to explain what he had done that night after finishing reading, blushing in embarrassment as he did.

Kenma, however, remained emotionless, well, at least Akaashi thought so. The blonde’s face didn’t seem to hold any resemblance of mockery or humor, so he took that as a good sign. When he had finished, the blonde immediately launched his first question.

“And so now, you’re telling me, that somehow, someone wrote in that journal…as a prank?” Kenma raised his brow.

Akaashi was expecting the question to be more on the lines of why he did it, but he couldn’t complain. “What other reason could they have done it for?” He reasoned.

“How do you even know that it was a new entry?” The blonde asked.

“Last I checked, the entries stopped on November 15. This one says it was written on the 18th.” He gestured to the journal with an ‘obviously’ tone in his voice.

Kenma seemed to think for a minute before he spoke, “Could I take a look at it?”

Deciding that his dignity was already damaged anyway, he placed the journal in his friend’s hands. Kenma skimmed over the pages, starting from the very first, moving until the latest addition. His brown eyes looked calculating, so Akaashi didn’t say or ask anything, knowing that the blonde would give his verdict later.

This left Akaashi to swim in his thoughts. This was a prank. It just had to be. There was absolutely no way that Bokuto would actually be able to read, let alone write, in the journal, when it had stayed on his desk for all the days since Akaashi purchased it. Not to mention the man was dead!

But that brought Akaashi to another thought. How did somebody manage to write in that journal without him or Kenma noticing? Last he checked, the both of them had never left the apartment empty for the past few days and nobody visited them apart from Kuroo, who never really strayed from the couch when he came over.

And yes, Akaashi was sure that the entry was new. The ink used still looked shiny, meaning it was only recently written. And he recalls flipping through all the pages before he wrote on it. So how could—

“The handwriting’s the same,” Kenma spoke up, breaking Akaashi out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“The handwriting is the same.” Kenma repeated, facing the journal towards Akaashi as he carefully flipped the pages from the last entry to the “prank” entry. “See? It’s all scrawny and messy. The way the letters are written is the same as every other page before it.”

“Can’t people do forgery?” Akaashi tried to reason, not liking what the blonde is implying.

Kenma shook his head softly. “No amount of practice in forgery can replicate _all_ of this. Not that I would know, though.” The blonde quickly added, ignoring Akaashi’s questioning gaze. “If it was forged, there would’ve been a mistake or two. Here, even the small ticks and strokes are scarily similar.” Kenma explained, pointing towards the letter ‘j’ and ‘t’.

And upon closer inspection, Akaashi realized that the blonde was right. The strokes were the same. As if it was the original handwriting itself, showing years of inability to correct the proper way of writing. Like the hand that wrote it was using muscle memory.

“Besides, no one could imitate all this in such a short amount of time,” Kenma added. “And who’d put in this much effort for a not-so-good prank?”

They both stayed quiet for a solid ten seconds. The blonde giving the ravenette time to let the information sink in.

“So,” Akaashi started. “What are you saying, Kenma?” He asked as he stared directly into the blonde’s eyes, who slightly bristled at the sudden eye contact, but quickly recovered. “That…somehow…Bokuto—who is dead and has been for the past five decades or so— _read_ my letter and _wrote_ a response?” The words left as soon as they were conjured. “What, like magic?” He scoffed in disbelief.

Kenma shrugged in response. “I honestly don’t know. I don’t really believe in these kinds of things.”

“But you make it seem as if that’s the only reason we have.” Akaashi pointed out.

“Right now, it is. I mean, practically—not logically—speaking, no one besides us could’ve done it. Kuroo’s not the type to do these things either.” Kenma supplied.

Akaashi mulled it all over, knowing that Kenma was right. He just wasn’t ready to say it. After a while, he released a heavy sigh, tired from all this thinking. He did not nor need to do this much thinking after the hell-like load of work he’s had to do these past few days, thank you very much.

“So, what do we do about it?” He asked.

Kenma hummed, “Well, we could do two things.” He raised two fingers to emphasize. Akaashi nodded in affirmation. “One, we could forget about it and live on as normally as we did. I highly doubt this changes anything. If it were a prank, we can just let it go. Not like it harmed us or anything.”

He was right, again. Akaashi could simply brush this off as a harmless prank. He’d just go on about his day, finish the project and tuck the journal somewhere beneath his bookshelf after he’s done. Yes, he could do that.

“Or two, now don’t scream at me, you could write him back.” Akaashi made a move to question and/or protest, but Kenma beat him to it. “Write him back, explain what you did. And see if you’ll get a response. If he does, we could investigate further. If not, we can conclude that this was just a prank and continue with option number one. Now, I would usually just choose option one, I hate thinking about it too much when it’s not really worth it, but you’re different than me. Knowing you, you’d be restless until you get answers.” Akaashi was silent, processing the options that were given to him. “Your choice. But I don’t see any harm in choosing either.”

“Option two could shatter the rest of my dignity.” Akaashi thought out loud, a small pout on his lips.

Kenma snorted, “It’s your choice, either way, you know? Think about the one that would bring you real peace of mind.”

Akaashi nodded and with that, their conversation ended. Kenma leaving Akaashi to mull over his choices, excusing himself to go cook their dinner, cleaning duty gleefully postponed for tomorrow.

They didn’t bring it up again for the rest of the night. Kenma didn’t want to add any more baggage to Akaashi’s already heavy thoughts. He could tell that the ravenette was taking this seriously, the way his eyes clouded over and his brows scrunching together.

Inside Akaashi’s mind, he replayed the choices over and over again until he had memorized them by heart.

Some people would find this choice a no-brainer, but Akaashi was not like those people. He carefully weighed the pros and cons of each option. Going as far as listing them in a small notepad.

Option one, leave it be, live on in life as he normally did, but risk the chances of functioning normally due to his overthinking and regret, probably.

Or option two, write Bokuto back, risk the last ounces of dignity he has, but ultimately feel better after getting it off his chest. Hopefully.

He stared at the notepad, a pout on his lips, and a glare in his eyes. The pros of option two seemed to outweigh the pros of option one. Overall, after minutes of thinking, option two seemed like a better idea. And the very idea of it had Akaashi staring at the notepad with distaste, hoping it’d change and prove that option one was better.

Akaashi was the type to use both facts and opinions when making a decision, always thinking one step ahead to prepare himself for consequences. But right now, he honestly wished he relied on emotions and opinions more.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, he pushed his glasses up and rubbed at his tired eyes, resting his elbows upon his desk. Kenma had long since retired and is probably burrowed under his sheets playing on his PSP. The blonde had told Akaashi to not stay up too late, but the ravenette simply snorted, calling his friend out on his hypocrisy.

When he opened his eyes, vision black for a few seconds due to his immense rubbing, his teal-colored pupils came face to face with the very cause of his tiredness. He reached for it and placed it in front of him, his hand eyeing the pen from a few inches away.

Should he do it?

Fuck it.

For once, Akaashi decides to rely on his emotion and opinions more.

**Dear Bokuto-san,…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u enjoyed this chapter! Even if its shorter. I just rlly needed this chapter to get the story going so I apologize for the lack of action or drama, I promise to add more later on!
> 
> That's all and like always, give a kudos if you enjoyed and share your thoughts in the comments! I always love hearing feedback! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! It's been a while. Sorry for the delay, school has been swamping me non-stop. Note that I did not beta read this at all, so like, sorry for that. This isn't too much right now, but I hope you still enjoy it! This has both of their POV's just to clarify.

**November 20, YYYY**

**Dear Bokuto-san,**

**I’m sorry for writing in your journal. I know that despite the circumstances, it was still wrong of me to do so. In fact, it was wrong of me to read it in the first place, even if… Never mind that. All I want to say is that I’m sorry. I really am. You seem upset and even if I doubt that an apology will cover it, I hope that you could forgive me.**

**But…I also want to clear things up.**

**I won’t be saying the whole truth. I mean, god forbid my dignity to deplete any more than it already has, but if you _really are_ Bokuto Koutaro, then I want to say a few other things.**

**I’m not a soldier. I know you’re probably still skeptical, but I give you my word that I am not from your camp, nor am I a part of your country’s militia.**

**I’m sure by now you would’ve already noticed the date of my entries and their difference from yours. It’s not a lie nor a prank, at least on my end it isn’t. The date is real, I’m writing this on the 20 th of November on the year YYYY, almost a century different from yours.**

**Hopefully, by now, you’ve put two and two together. But if not, I’ll just be blunt. I’m a person from the future, a century farther than yours. I acquired this journal through a “friend” and you know what happens next.**

**I don’t know how you were able to read my entry and how I was able to read your latest one. But somehow, we were able to.**

**I know it sounds crazy, even I am currently having a hard time understanding it. I don’t even know why I’m writing right now. Maybe it’s because I’m holding onto a sliver of hope that this could be real and that you could and would actually reply.**

**It’s alright if you don’t want to. But that will just confirm my suspicions that someone is playing a prank. That’s all.**

**Sincerely, A.K.**

**P.S. If I find out that this is a prank from you, you sly rooster, me and your boyfriend have mutually come to an agreement that your key and certain privileges in this apartment will be revoked. If it’s someone from campus, I hope you got a good laugh out of this one.**

Koutaro had been staring at this one for approximately three hours now. It was a little past midnight and most of his fellow soldiers were either passed out due to exhaustion or are too drunk to care about him staring at his desk with a fire in his eyes.

The moment he had discovered this “A.K.”’s entry, his first instinct was to run and tell Keiji. But thoughts of doing that quickly halted, as he worried about his reaction. If this entry were a prank caused by his fellow soldiers, Keiji would flip at the thought of someone snooping and possibly discovering their relationship.

And while they both knew that Koutaro used different pronouns and nicknames, the anxiety of getting caught still hung in the air whenever they accidentally leave an object that might pertain to their secret relationship.

So Koutaro held off on telling Keiji, on telling anyone. He decided that he’d do a little digging and investigate before he started yelling. A smart move on his part, he proudly admits.

In his own way, he had compared the handwriting to his fellow soldier’s own, using glimpses of their scattered letters as reference. Snooping is bad, true, but if one of them were the ones to have written in his journal, he’d call it square.

Another thing to mention is that Koutaro has resorted to calling the author a “they” and occasionally a “he”. Not out of disrespect or anything, but he knew for sure that there was no possible way that a woman could’ve written this. But even when he had gone through half of the camp’s soldiers, none of them seemed to match. Except one.

And that was Keiji’s handwriting itself. Of course, Koutaro dismissed the idea immediately. The ravenette didn’t even know that Koutaro had brought the journal with him.

Besides, he knew that Keiji would never do this sort of thing. Sure, he was upset—which Koutaro still feels guilty about, by the way—but Koutaro knew and trusted that Keiji would never do any of this. He was sure that Keiji also trusted him enough to say these types of things to his face, not through cryptic and weird messages.

Upon seeing how fruitless this investigation was, he decided to take a break. As luck would have it that the minute, he sat down to take a break, a new entry in the journal presented itself to him.

Koutaro’s brain was currently racing a mile a minute. Every nerve told him to go to Keiji and, hopefully, they could figure something out. But a part of him didn’t want to worry his lover even further. He knew that Keiji was having a hard time here, just as much as he was, if not more. So, now, Koutaro’s currently running his brain to the point of short-circuiting trying to understand the new message.

He didn’t believe it. No. He _couldn’t_ believe it. There was absolutely no way that what this man was saying was true. Koutaro may be an idealist and has a wild imagination, but there was no way in hell that he believes this. At least, that’s what he’s trying to tell himself.

But a small part of him, a tiny, microbial part of him knew that it was true. All the signs pointed to it. Like the date.

The date was written today, the shiny ink indicating that it was just recently written. Some time from about five hours ago, if Koutaro had to estimate.

Now here’s the thing. _Nobody_ was here, in _this_ room, five hours ago. All of its inhabitants were out on the field. And this base was always locked, so even the soldiers guarding the camp cannot get into every sleeping quarter. Soldier or not, there was _no possible_ way that someone could’ve snuck in to write all this shit. Nobody would have the time to.

This was a fact that confirmed what the man was implying and what Koutaro was currently denying.

There was also this part where the writer said if he was _really_ Bokuto Koutaro. Which definitely meant something, he was sure of it.

It might mean that the man knew him in the future, or at least have heard of him. And while that may come off as flattering to some, Koutaro knew better. No stranger would hear of him in the future, other than him being a former soldier. He was sure of this. He didn’t see himself doing anything great in this lifetime and has come to terms that the word ‘soldier’ or ‘veteran’ will probably be the only noteworthy thing written on his tombstone.

So, this could only mean that either the man has seen his tombstone or has seen his journal in the future. Probably the latter makes more sense since the writer is currently writing to him using said journal. He involuntarily shudders at the thought of someone reading through his stuff though.

What to do now?

Koutaro thought about this for a good fifteen minutes or so. It wouldn’t hurt to respond, wouldn’t it? It’s not like he’s going to share his deep dark secrets with the man. He was simply responding, ‘cause hey, it’d be rude not to.

“But it would be creepy,” Koutaro muttered to himself as he stared at the open journal.

…

“To hell with it.”

* * *

**_November 20, XXXX_ **

**_Dear…A.K. ~~I guess~~_ **

**_This isn’t a prank…at least I hope it’s not for me too. I don’t know what to say, sorry, I guess. This seems freaky to me too. I mean, how the fuck is this possible? I hate to believe it, but it seems like your theory must be true. I mean, I’ve checked and even if I didn’t, no one from my comrades would do this kind of stuff. I mean, we’re in a war for goodness sake! Who the heck has time for pranks?_ **

**_But anyway, if this is really true, then…wow. I’ve never thought that this was possible. Yet, now that I think about it, it doesn’t seem as impossible. I mean, everything in this world is weird, right? This must be one of those things that we can’t explain without science, like that theory they taught in school, the one where humans were actually monkeys? Don’t know much about it though, maybe Ji knows. Heck, maybe you too since you’re from the “future”._ **

**_What’s it like, by the way? The future? Never really thought about it much, but are there wars still? I hope not._ **

**_Sorry, I think I’ve rambled too much. I know you must be wondering why I’m suddenly all nice compared to my last note, huh? Maybe you’re wondering why I’m even writing back?_ **

**_Honestly? I just thought that you mean no harm, at least I think you don’t? You’re confused too from the looks of it, so what could you gain from manipulating a low-ranking soldier?_ **

**_I don’t know how we’ve suddenly connected through this journal, but it must mean something, right? Don’t worry, I’m letting you off the hook for snooping, you couldn’t have known about this “magical” journal. I hope you understand though._ **

**_Okay, I think I’ve said enough. That’s all._ **

**_~~Hope to hear more from you.~~ _ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Bokuto Koutaro._ **

It…It was real. _He_ was _real_.

These six words have been circling Akaashi’s brain for a good 30 minutes now. He was sitting right in front of his desk, staring at the open journal as the ink settled.

> A recap would be nice, no? Well, it started when he finished writing the note. It was a little after lunchtime, but Kuroo had come over and offered to go out to dinner. Akaashi would’ve turned it down—like all the times he’s done before; he was not going to be a willing third-wheeler dammit. But Kuroo had insisted and Kenma had whispered to him that this could be a chance to “interrogate the rooster head”, as Kenma had so beautifully quoted.
> 
> So, they went out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just the diner near their university. It was a cute and casual diner—newly painted pastel colors filling the wide dining area with a bright aura—that’s been around for a _long_ time. It’s even got photos from when it first opened and some regular customers that have come through the glass doors.
> 
> One particular photo always caught his eye. It was a stolen photo from one of their old customers. You could tell how old it was due to it being in black and white. The photo depicted four young men sitting in a booth, laughing and chatting as they ate their meal.
> 
> Honestly, it would’ve looked the same to every other picture on the walls, had it not been for the men’s appearances. Not, he did not mean the clothes, but the faces. Three of the four young men looked scarily similar to Akaashi and his current company.
> 
> “You know, they could be like our old selves.” Kuroo mused as he picked at his food, pointing his fork towards the photo, the food flinging towards Kenma who made an irked face.
> 
> “Maybe,” Akaashi agreed as he sipped his drink. “They _really_ do look like us. Like carbon copies.”
> 
> “Like past lives?” Kuroo brought up, as he looked at Akaashi, who was opposite from him.
> 
> Akaashi made a confused face. “Never really believed in that.” Kuroo muttered something that he wasn’t able to hear, “What was that?”
> 
> “Nothing,” Kuroo immediately denied, but the look that Akaashi gave him made him sigh. “I meant to say that they just _do_ look like our past lives.”
> 
> Akaashi didn’t buy it, but oh well. He wasn’t going to push.
> 
> Kenma hummed, “Wonder who’s the other guy, though.” He spoke as he wiped away the mess that Kuroo was making from flinging his fork around.
> 
> Both ravenettes shrugged, with Kuroo answering, “Maybe we get to meet him too, in the future?”
> 
> “You’re really hung up on this reincarnation thing, aren’t you?” Kenma asked with a brow raised.
> 
> “Why shouldn’t I? It sounds cool.” Kuroo defended, flinging his spoon this time. Luckily, for Kenma, it was still clean.
> 
> Akaashi stared at the photo, the image of the spiky-haired man feeling familiar in his mind, he wondered if gel was a thing back then already? Silence followed their conversation soon after, that was until Akaashi remembered his supposed to be original conversation with Kuroo.
> 
> “Hey, Kuroo-san,” He started. Kuroo hummed in acknowledgment. “You didn’t happen to write in the journal that I bought a few days ago, right?”
> 
> “Huh?” Kuroo lifted his head in confusion, mouth filled with food. He was about to speak when he felt Kenma’s stare, so he quickly swallowed before speaking. “Of course not. Why would I even do that?”
> 
> “Okay, then, that’s good.” Akaashi simply replied. Inside, he was relieved, but even then, he had expected this answer and knew that there was no lie in it.
> 
> “Wait,” Kuroo drawled. “What happened? Someone write in it?”
> 
> Akaashi nodded, “Yes, we suspected that it could be you, but I sort of know that you wouldn’t prank like that.”
> 
> Kuroo sighed in relief, “Glad to know you trust me.” He pouted.
> 
> “Be glad that you didn’t do it.” Kenma commented.
> 
> Kuroo sprang up at this. “What do you mean?” No one answered him; however, smirks were clearly plastered on their lips. “Guys? What were you gonna do if I did it?”
> 
> “I proposed to revoke you of your keys to the apartment and your privileges in said apartment.” Akaashi smiled amusedly. “And Kenma agreed.”
> 
> “What?” Kuroo exclaimed, causing Kenma to flinch back a bit from the sudden increase in volume. “You agreed? Why?” He whined.
> 
> Kenma rolled his eyes, but you could tell that he was amused. “You almost gave Akaashi a heart attack and I was not going to deal with that.”
> 
> Akaashi rolled his eyes too. “I feel the love, Kenma.”
> 
> Kenma smirked as he continued to eat.
> 
> The rest of their meal was filled with light-hearted banter. Akaashi had parted ways with the couple as they passed a corner. Kenma was staying with Kuroo for the night in the elder’s apartment and would just come back tomorrow.
> 
> Honestly, Akaashi could care less about the clear implications behind Kuroo’s words of “spending the night cuddling”. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to deal with seeing a hickey first thing tomorrow. Or worse, he’d have to deal with a lost-all-feeling-in-his-legs Kenma.
> 
> He waved them away as he turned to walk down his street. Feeling the cold autumn—was it even autumn still? –brush past his face, he hunched himself over as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Despite his brisk walking, his apartment was still a good distance away, leaving him time to think, since the street was empty.
> 
> He thought about random stuff like projects and upcoming tests. Then his mind drifted to his literature project. He had passed that a few days ago since he has already technically read the journal. Well, part of it. But the project was good enough and he was sure that the least he’d get was a B+. Then his mind wandered to the journal.
> 
> It had only been a few hours ago, but Akaashi grew impatient—a rarity at its finest. He needed to know now if someone was playing with him or not. He didn’t know why he was so worked up, but he just was.
> 
> Without realizing it, the ravenette had arrived home. Quickly walking inside and into the warm air, he breathed a sigh of relief. Opting for a much warmer atmosphere, he hurried up the stairs and into his second-floor, shared apartment.
> 
> Walking inside, he moved to put away the leftovers that they had wrapped up. Moving towards the living room, he cleaned up the messy coffee table and picked up the strewn objects near it. They weren’t super messy, but they have been busy so it was a good enough excuse to leave things around the apartment from time to time. Placing his notebooks back on his desk, the journal in the middle of it caught his eye.

And that brings us to right now. Akaashi is currently staring at the open journal with a confused but fiery stare.

It…It was real. _He_ was _real_.

How? What? Why?

Akaashi had so many questions. So many things to say and ask, but he didn’t know who to look for. Bokuto—that still felt oddly unique but familiar on his lips—clearly knew just as much as what Akaashi knew, which was 0.

Akaashi smiled, though. He could feel the charm and humor through the written ink. _How cute_ , he found himself thinking.

He froze. No. No. _What the hell, Keiji? Don’t lust after a taken and_ dead _man like that. That’s just…wrong on so many levels,_ he thought as he wrinkled his nose.

 _But I can’t help it,_ says the dark side of him. _He seems really fun to be with. And that’s us talking because of a journal, who knows how infectious he must be to the people he’s around with._

 _Too bad he’s in a war,_ his sensible side said.

Akaashi’s mood, somewhat dropped. But it quickly regained itself as he reached for his pen. No intruding thoughts about how messed up this was was in his mind. In fact, he felt his mind clear as he let himself get immersed in writing. Letting the scratching of pen on paper soothe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I know that this is still short but I hope you liked it! I'll try updating sooner, but who knows when that it. But I will promise that the next update won't be longer than a month. Still, I hope you enjoyed this one. Thanks so much for reading and comment down below what you think! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO! IM NOT DEAD! haha kidding. Yeah i know I said I'd update this a month after my last update...it's now currently 2 months plus a few weeks since I said that. 😐 Sorry. But anyways, it's here now! So I hope you enjoy it!

**November 20, YYYY**

**Dear Bokuto-san,**

**I’m glad you’re not too upset. I really did not mean to upset nor scare you. And I want to say that I completely understand your apprehensive reply. I’m also glad that you seem to believe me. I mean, even I’m still not settled on what’s happening.**

**I guess you are kind of right that not everything can be explained. It does seem true that science can’t always be the basis for what’s possible and what’s not. And if this really one of those impossible things that you said, then I guess it’s better not to dwell too much on how it’s happening, right? We’re not scientists anyway.**

**Speaking of science, that theory you’re talking about is Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. It’s more than just humans and monkeys though.**

**You asked about the future. I don’t really have anything to say, at least, I can’t explain it all in a way that would make sense to you. I guess I could say that humans have evolved over the years. No, not like the monkeys. I mean it in a way where life among humans has changed from what you probably experience in your time. It’s definitely more technologically advanced.**

**That doesn’t make it any less peaceful though. In fact, I think it just worsens it. There aren’t as many wars as back in your time, but there are still skirmishes and fights. They don’t only do it on the battlefield though. Sometimes they use politics, science, and technology to wage wars. A lot fewer casualties, I suppose.**

**I know this might sound rude, but seeing as I’ve answered a few of your questions, I was hoping to ask you some questions as well. If you don’t mind that is, of course. It’s alright if you’re not too comfortable sharing though. I get it, confidentiality of information in war is important. But I don’t plan on asking too difficult questions though.**

**What’s it like living in XXXX? Is it as difficult living in war as they say? They say that your lifestyle is based on your social standing, I hope yours is better than most. I’ve only ever heard of it from history books that my school required me to have. I want to know what it’s like from the eyes of a guy who actually lived there.**

**Do you mind me asking what your job is and what your life is like? Personal, sorry. Just curious. You don’t need to answer that.**

**I think that’s all I have to say. I’ll be ending my note here now. I’m sorry if I’ve asked or said too much.**

**~~I hope you stay safe.~~ **

**Sincerely, A.K.**

Koutaro’s smile unconsciously widened as he read through the note written in his journal. This A.K. guy seemed fun to talk to. Koutaro could tell that the guy must’ve had a lot to say on his mind, but probably stopped himself before he said too much. He kind of reminded him of Keiji.

Speaking of Keiji…

“Koutaro? Why are you smiling like that?”

His lover’s smooth voice broke him out of his little daze. He lifted his head to blink owlishly at the man in front of his cot, looking at him with a raised brow and a small smirk. Koutaro internally swooned, even in military garb, his lover still looked as handsome and pretty.

“What’s that you’re reading?” Keiji asked again.

“Oh,” Koutaro snapped himself out of staring at the beautiful man to answer said man’s question. “Umm…Just the journal you gave me.”

Keiji looked somewhat shocked as he raised his brow again. “You brought that with you?” He whispered, even when the room was empty of any person save for them.

“Uh. I mean, yeah,” Koutaro fumbled. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Keiji looked a bit confused. “Well, you said that you wanted to stop writing in it, right?” He asked as he crossed his arms.

A memory of him confessing this to Keiji flashed in Koutaro’s mind. Oh, right. But that was before A.K. had told him to not stop writing. Well, not that A.K. had convinced him. He just simply found a reason to keep writing, since A.K. seemed insistent on writing back to him.

But Koutaro wasn’t going to tell Keiji that the reason he started writing again was that he was talking to another man—at least he thinks A.K.’s a man—in the journal that was designated for Koutaro and Keiji’s use only. Of course, he wasn’t going to answer that. How stupid could one think Koutaro is?

“I…I brought it just in case I wanted to suddenly write?” Koutaro answered the best he possibly could. Keiji didn’t look like he was buying it though. “Besides, I never said I didn’t want to read through it in case I missed spending more time with you.” He added to better his case.

While Keiji still didn’t seem completely convinced, Koutaro could tell that he at least had won the ravenette over. If the blush and small smile were anything to go by.

“Shut up,” Keiji mumbled through pink cheeks.

“Aw,” Koutaro cooed, standing up so he could walk over to his lover. “Keiji, did I make you blush just by saying that I want to spend time with you?” He asked teasingly as he grabbed at Keiji’s cold hands.

“Shut up, Koutaro,” Keiji repeated, preferring to stare at Koutaro’s shoes than his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Aw, Keiji.” Koutaro cooed again. He tucked his fingers under the ravenette’s chin to lift his face and make teal-eyes look into golden orbs. “All you had to do was ask.”

Keiji huffed. “You know it’s not as easy as that anymore.”

Koutaro nodded sadly. “Yeah, I know.” But then he perked up the next second. “But still! At least we should take the opportunity we have right now, right? I mean, no one’s here, right?” He asked with a gleeful glint in his eyes.

Keiji smiled as his eyes flitted around the room. “I guess—”

That was all the signal that Koutaro needed for him to dive in and press his lips against his lover’s. He could feel that both of their lips were slightly chapped and dry, but he could care less. Moments like these were to be cherished in times like these.

Having his lover safely secured in his arms. Having to feel the warmth that radiated from each other’s body amongst the cold November air. Having their heads move against each other to deepen the kiss. These were moments of bliss that Koutaro cherished deeply. A moment of pure peace. A moment of pure love.

* * *

Peace however didn’t last long in a time of war. They were soon broken out of their short moment to have rifles forced into their hands once again. As much as Koutaro wanted to groan and gripe, he subdued himself before it showed on his face.

He knew that they were lucky enough as it was. He and Keiji were still together and somewhat safe. He knew that that wouldn’t last as well. By the end of winter, they’d be shipped off to the front lines. Where death and sorrow run amok. Koutaro would consider himself blessed by the gods if he still managed to stay by Keiji’s side until then.

The day had passed in according to their built routine. And after his duties, Koutaro was just about ready to hit the sack. That was until he remembered that he had yet to write a reply to his awaiting correspondence half a century from now. Not wanting to leave the person hanging, he quickly grabbed the journal from underneath the pillow. Not the _best_ hiding spot, he admits, but he really does not have anywhere else to hide it.

He had been in the middle of his letter when a voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“Feeling inspired?” Keiji asked from behind him, causing him to whirl around in surprise.

“I—uh…Yeah.” Koutaro stuttered, then tried to clear his throat. “I mean, yeah. I don’t know, just thought of writing, you know?”

Keiji raised an unimpressed brow. “Okay? Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

Koutaro nodded. Phew, that was close. Yes, because Koutaro still definitely does not have a clue on how he’s going to explain to his lover this whole crazy and weird situation.

However, when he tried to get back into writing, he could feel Keiji’s stare baring into his body. The ravenette had situated himself on the cot next to Koutaro’s, so the ashen-haired man could feel the intensity of the probably curious and concerned stare.

Koutaro sighed defeatedly, before turning to the teal-eyed man beside him. “You want to say something to me, don’t you?”

Keiji, not at all surprised to have been caught staring, nodded. He had a look of concern and confusion as he looked at his lover. “Is there something wrong?” When Koutaro didn’t answer, he added. “I’ve noticed something off about you lately.”

“What do you mean?”

Keiji shrugged. “You seemed spooked about something a few days ago, I didn’t want to ask ‘cause I thought you’d say it eventually. Then I saw you one time going around different tents like you were looking for something, again I didn’t ask. Then suddenly you’re all happy and writing in the journal again. And I guess, I don’t know, none of those actions seem connected, but they all sound off to me. Something just doesn’t feel right.” Keiji sighed. “I know it sounds weird and like it doesn’t make sense. I’m probably just overthinking things again. But I just wanted to ask, are you okay? Is there something on your mind?”

Koutaro guessed he shouldn’t have underestimated Keiji’s observation skills. He had been trying to hide all the past events from him, but clearly, the ravenette saw right through him. But then again, he guessed he too would also be concerned if Keiji started doing weird things all of a sudden.

Koutaro didn’t notice that he was still just looking at Keiji and has yet to answer his question. So, he was startled by Keiji’s quick follow-up.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” He said hastily. “I was just worried, that’s all.”

Judging by the glint in his teal eyes, Koutaro suspected that worry was not the only thing that Keiji was feeling. If he knew his lover—of which he _does_ —he’d say that the ravenette was also curious and somewhat scared, but of course, he didn’t want to admit that.

Now, here comes the hard part. Should Koutaro lie or tell Keiji the truth?

 _‘Lying would be much easier to explain_ ,’ said the devil on his shoulder.

 _‘But telling him the truth will make him lessen his worry,’_ reasoned his sensible angel. ‘ _We all know that Keiji wouldn’t buy the lie even if you told him.’_

The devil made a noise of disagreement. _He wouldn’t be too happy with the truth though. I doubt he’d even believe it._

 _‘Well, would he be happy if he was lied to?’_ The angel snapped back. _‘Besides, we all know that Keiji is the most open-minded person we know. He’s bound to understand. And in the rare chance that he doesn’t at least we could say that we told the truth.’_

“True,” Koutaro mumbled.

“What?”

“Huh?” Koutaro didn’t realize that he had spoken his thoughts aloud. “Oh, sorry. I just…” He looked at Keiji nervously, not too sure how to break the truth to him.

Keiji waited patiently with a raised brow to urge Koutaro to explain.

Koutaro sighed in defeat. “Oh, alright. I’ll tell you.” He shifted on his cot as he glanced nervously at the man in front of him. He wasn’t too sure why he was so nervous, but he chalked it up to the fear that Keiji would take him for a mad man. “But you have to promise to not make fun of me and not think I’m crazy. I swear to you, all I’m saying is true.”

Keiji nodded slowly. “Okay, go ahead.”

Koutaro took a deep breath before he launched into his little storytelling of the past few days’ events. Luckily, the men inside the tent were either asleep or too bothered to care, so he could easily retell the events without having to worry about anyone hearing them. He went on to explain how he found the new note in the journal. How he first thought that a soldier in the camp must’ve found out about them and had played a prank on him.

Keiji, naturally, reacted a bit bad at the assumption that somebody had learned of their secret, but Koutaro was quick to debunk his own idea. He explained how he kept seeing a new note written on the page when he was sure that nobody had touched the journal except for him. And if that wasn’t already difficult to explain, Koutaro told Keiji about the notion that his pen pal was _not_ in their current time, but in fact from the future.

Keiji had a look of disbelief on his face, but the further that Koutaro explained with perfect detail, the ravenette’s face slowly melted into that of weird understanding. When Koutaro had finished, Keiji was now simply looking at him with wide eyes.

Koutaro shied at this, nervously looking at his lover. “I’m not crazy?” He helpfully(?) supplied.

Keiji was snapped out of his daze, shaking his head softly. Koutaro wondered if that was to say that he didn’t think of him as crazy or it was simply to let him regain a sense of himself.

“No, it’s not that I think you’re crazy.” He appeased. “I mean, it _is_ crazy, but it’s not you that’s crazy. It’s just a lot to take in too.” His brows furrowed, eyes turning stormy, and he started fiddling with his fingers. A sure sign to the ashen-haired man that he was thinking really hard about it.

“Do you want to look at the journal?” He offered.

Keiji nodded. “Sure.”

Taking the forgotten journal beside him, he handed it to the teal-eyed man. He noticed how Keiji just flipped over the first few entries, only stopping until he reached the first letter that A.K. sent to him. Koutaro watched as his eyes scanned through the lines of words on the pages. He could see the deepening color of Keiji’s stormy eyes and the further furrowing of his brows.

He also noticed something else hidden in Keiji’s eyes. Was that…recognition? Did Keiji perhaps recognize something about the letters written by A.K.? Did he know something about him? Koutaro quickly dunked that idea. There was no way that Keiji knew something about a man that hasn’t even been born yet.

When Keiji had finished, he shut the journal closed and stared at the cover for a few moments.

“Ji?” Koutaro called out. He held his tongue after just realizing that he had used Keiji’s nickname in public. Granted, no one heard him, but still, it was better to be more cautious.

“Yeah?”

“You got something?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Keiji said absentmindedly. “I mean, it _does_ make a bit more sense. I’m still a bit confused. All of this sounds entirely impossible, but I guess you aren’t wrong in thinking that impossible things happen all the time.”

Koutaro smiled. “So, you believe me?”

Keiji returned the gesture with a firm nod. “I always believe you. Somehow, even when it’s weird, I believe you.”

Koutaro beamed at his response and had to physically restrain himself from leaning forward to plant a kiss on the ravenette’s smiling lips.

Suddenly, a clang rang out from behind them. Turning towards the sound, they saw the remaining soldiers, who had been awake moments ago, passed out drunk on their cots.

“Guess, we should head to bed too?” Keiji chuckled at their sprawled-out figures.

Koutaro chuckled along with him. “Yeah.” He turned to look at his lover, staring into his teal eyes. “G’night Ji.” He whispered, this time, intentionally using the sweet term of endearment.

Keiji’s smile softened, his eyes melting into that of fondness. “Goodnight, Kou.”

* * *

On the other side of time, one Akaashi Keiji was _not_ sharing a sweet moment of feelings with his lover. Nope. This Akaashi Keiji currently hunched over one of the many books that the university library offered. Many other books containing about the same content as his current book were stacked around him.

There weren’t any upcoming history exams as far as his history classmates knew, so the ones that had seen him at his desk were a bit concerned at seeing him with that many history textbooks surrounding him. Fearing that there was an upcoming pop quiz, they walked up to ask him. They were met with a simple reply that he was just _curious_ about a few things.

But, if you were Kenma asking the ravenette what he was doing, you would be met with a different answer. For example, this answer that he had just told the blonde who had come across him at this very time.

“I wanted to see if they had any information on the year that Bokuto-san had lived in.” He answered, with a quick glance to his blonde friend before turning back to his work.

“Why?” Kenma asked bluntly.

“Just because.”

“You don’t do things, “just because”.” He replied with a dull tone.

“Do I need to have a reason to be curious?” Akaashi snarked.

“No.” Kenma agreed. “But when you’ve been holed up in the library since last night, it does become a bit concerning to think that this is simply curiosity.”

“Glad to see you’re concerned for me.”

“Shut up.”

After a brief silence, Akaashi relented with a sigh. Placing his book down, he shifted his body to face the blonde behind him. “There really isn’t anything but curiosity Kenma. I just want to know a bit more about him.” He admitted, hopefully, no pink was seen on his cheeks. If there was, Kenma didn’t comment.

“Why?”

“I just—He just seems like an interesting person, you know?” He replied with the simplest explanation he could think of. “I can’t _help_ but want to know more.”

“Are you sure it’s just ‘cause he’s interesting?” Damn Kenma for being so observant and seeing right through him. “Nothing else?”

Akaashi shook his head. “Nothing else.” He denies, half was for Kenma, half was secretly for him.

Because it was true. Bokuto Koutaro was simply an interesting person. Akaashi saw nothing more. Not that there was more to base off of.

He figured that was what made it worse. Not knowing a lot about the man, yet secretly finding him to be a comfortable person to share his thoughts with. He doesn’t even often share his thoughts with Kenma!

“If you say so.” Kenma shrugged, thankfully leaving it alone in a Kenma-fashioned way. “What have you found anyway?”

Akaashi sighed. “Not a lot. But I expected as much. Textbooks barely gloss over every event that happened every year. How could it possibly have information on a certain person unless Bokuto-san did something heroic? Which I doubt because I would have at least heard of him if that were the case.” He glanced at the book that he had placed down and at the stack that he had finished. “Not to mention I don’t have any information on him save for his name and the year he was drafted into the war.”

“Have you tried anything else?”

Akaashi shook his head. “I tried searching the internet, but not too much information either. It’s not like the internet has access to every single information about every single enlistee in the military.”

Kenma hummed. “I don’t know about you, but when a soldier dies in battle, there would have at least been _one_ mention of him on lists. If your Bokuto-san isn’t anywhere, maybe he died a peaceful death?”

“Wouldn’t he be listed as a veteran then?” Akaashi asked.

“Heroic events on the field are more likely listed in textbooks than veterans that are seen in museums.” Kenma shrugged.

“Museums,” Akaashi mumbled, realization settling in. “That’s it! Kenma you’re a genius!” He turned to the blonde with a sparkle in his teal eyes.

“First time I’ve heard you say that.” Kenma snorted.

“Shut up,” Akaashi quickly retorted.

“Are you going right now?” The blonde asked.

Akaashi glanced at the pile of books that he had spent hours taking out of their shelves, which would probably take the same amount of time to place them back. He also turned to the clock hanging on the center of the large wall.

He softly shook his head. “No, probably tomorrow. It’s getting late. Besides, I’m kind of starving now.”

Kenma hummed, intending to go home together with the ravenette, but then the large stack of books caught his attention.

He visibly paled. “Please don’t tell me I’ll have to help you put all that back.” He muttered with fear in his eyes.

Akaashi simply smirked, a mean glint in his eyes. “If you do, I might just make some apple pie.”

Kenma sighed tiredly, closing his eyes. “I hate it when you bribe me.”

Akaashi simply snickered, smirk still on his lips. “Come on.” He called, as he picked up a few first books.

* * *

After half an hour of putting the books back, the pair decided on having dinner at the local diner since both of them weren’t willing to make their own dinner at this time. And upon arriving at their apartment, Akaashi made a beeline for his closet then to the bathroom to clean himself up.

He sighed in relief as he exited the bathroom afterward, steam following behind him. He could feel it getting colder and colder every day as autumn was about to end. Spotting his desk from across the room, it suddenly came to him that he hadn’t checked on the journal yet.

Call him desperate, but Akaashi was actually quite excited at the thought of a new note appearing. Of course, he’d rather die before admitting this, even to himself. There was just no way that he found something about Bokuto that was more than interesting. Still, that doesn’t mean that he’s not going to admit that he enjoys writing to the man and vice versa.

Towel still wrapped around his neck, he walked over to the desk and sat down. Being careful to not let his hair drip water onto the paper, he flipped through the aged pages of the journal. Smiling as he spotted a new entry.

**_November 21_** **_, XXXX_ **

**_Dear A.K_ ** **_.,_ **

**_It’s good to hear from you! ~~Not that I was expecting to.~~ I mean, I’m just sort of excited, you know? It’s not every day that I can speak to someone from the future. That was supposed to be a joke, but I don’t know if you’d laugh…forget I said anything. Ji probably doesn’t even count that as a joke, so maybe you won’t either._ **

**_But anyway, you’re right, we shouldn’t try to understand what’s happening. So, how about we just take the opportunity to talk to each other, right? Can’t hurt to do it_** **_._ **

**_Call me weird, but I can sort of imagine the future you’re talking about. I’d probably feel overwhelmed by it all, but advanced technology does sound interesting. Could you tell me more about those kinds of things? Like robots and machines? Have they made robots? I heard on the news one time how the government was trying to create these human-like machines. Sounds creepy, but interesting. The most advanced thing we’ve got here is probably guns and tanks. So, make of it what you will._ **

**_You said there are still wars…I expected as much. It’s stupid of me, of anyone, to believe that wars won’t exist in the future anymore. But I guess I can’t help it, you know? I’m here right now, forced to fight in a war that could decide whether I die or live. All I want right now is just for wars to not exist anymore. Then maybe, I can continue my normal life with Ji._ **

**_Sorry, I think I rambled about that too much. You asked some questions, right? I don’t mind answering them. Though I’ll warn you now, my life isn’t as interesting as you probably expect._ **

**_I have to say, it’s not bad living in XXXX. Though I guess I’m biased since I’ve only ever lived in years before that. I and Ji lived together for a while before we got enlisted. It was great! We were happy! We weren’t rich, but we weren’t poor either. Ji had a job as an editor in a publishing house. I…Well, I jump around all the jobs I could possibly do. I’ve probably applied to every ‘Help Wanted’ sign they put up around our town. The both of us made enough money to live comfortably, so everything was good._ **

**_We love each other very much so we were really happy. It could get hard sometimes, but they’re always there for me, so it made things easier. We have friends too, they have the same secret, so we’ve always looked out for each other. So, I guess I can say that life for me back then was the most perfect one I could’ve asked for._ **

**_I can’t tell you what war is really like since I haven’t been to the frontlines yet. But if training camp is already grueling and harsh, can’t say I’m excited to be shipped off in a few months._ **

**_I think I’ve said enough. Almost filled the entire page._ **

**_I don’t know why, but something is telling me to tell you this so I’m going to say it anyway, just for the thought. I’ll stay safe! Don’t worry!_ **

**_Sincerely, Bokuto Koutaro_ **

Too many emotions and reactions were flowing through Akaashi right now. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Even when Bokuto spoke about certain emotional things, Akaashi couldn’t stop smiling albeit sadly.

He was glad to see just how much Bokuto had said to him. It made Akaashi feel like he was really getting to know the man as if he were right here talking to him.

The mention of Bokuto’s love for Ji made his heart flutter. Bokuto just seemed too sweet and passionate. Akaashi could tell that this man wore his heart on his sleeve. Ji was lucky to have someone like him. So willing to look after them and to love them.

He reread through the letter several times after that. He took his time into understanding—memorizing—every paragraph and every sentence by heart. He couldn’t explain it no matter how many times he wanted to. But Bokuto-san just does something to him that just pulls Akaashi in, wanting to know more about him and his story.

He smiled sadly at the thought of Bokuto getting sent to the frontlines in a few months. In a short span of time, Akaashi managed to get attached to this little journal and its former owner. He wondered if they’d still be communicating by then. Would Bokuto tell him more things about his life there? Akaashi would love to know.

There was also one question that Akaashi would love to know the answer to. Would Bokuto live through the war?

It was an obvious question. The answer’s not that easy though. But Akaashi knew that he at least had an advantage among other people wishing to know if they’d live through a war. Because _he_ was from the future. For him, the war already happened and ended. All he had to do look back and search for his answer. Sure, Bokuto had already died by now, but Akaashi would like to know if he managed to live out his normal dream life with Ji.

Hopefully, his trip to the museum tomorrow would shed _some_ light on the answers he’s looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again apologize for my inconsistent update, I've just been too busy with school and writer's block suddenly thought Christmas break was the best time for it to mess up my life, so here we are. I don't wanna promise anything anymore, but Imma just say that I DO have a much clearer plan on this story's flow. In case you haven't realized, I'm making this up as I go. I have the ending, just not the middle 🤷 IM GETTING THERE THO
> 
> (I've also made like at least 5 more WIPs in the span of 2 months, so like,,,my attention is so divided)
> 
> But anyway, thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And I'm thankful if you're willing to endure my inconsistent schedule of update or lack thereof. Love y'all <3 stay safe!
> 
> PS. shamelessly plugging my tumblr and twitter acc, just cuz. tumblr - @hqismylifesource; twt - @hlpsfff
> 
> I don't post on there at all, but like I need human interaction outside of my family. So like we can chat if u wanna. U don't have to follow me, in fact i'd rather not, cuz I'm too much of a mess to keep track of.
> 
> That's all! Bai bai!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im starting to think i'll only actually update once every two months on the last day. really hoping I don't keep this up but anywayssss,,, I'm back! Yo! Hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> TW:// Homophobia, Use of Homophobic Slur
> 
> It's only a small sentence but I just thought to put this in any way just to be safe. I don't support them homophobes at all, obviously, but I felt this part is necessary to move the story. To all of y'all that are unique and beautiful, I support ya! <3

Contrary to popular belief, Akaashi wasn’t so much of a fan of museums. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t personally loathe being there. He just gets weird feelings whenever he sees something from centuries ago. It sends a shiver up his spine to think that some (most) of the displays in the museums were once alive or had belonged to people who were alive. Nonetheless, his curiosity was currently eating him alive so he could not just leave it unsated.

He contemplated on asking—forcing—Kenma to come along with him, but the blonde’s lucky ass was saved by his rooster-head boyfriend with the suggestion of an impromptu date. Oh well, he’d bother him later.

Akaashi may seem quiet and polite half of the time, but if you knew him better, you’d see that Akaashi can be just as much of an ass as one Kuroo Tetsurou can be. He’s weird in his own way. He can tease and set anyone off if he wanted to, he just chooses to be more discreet about it to other people. This piece of information is much to a certain faux blonde’s chagrin.

With that out of the way, we can go back to where Akaashi is currently walking around the town’s local museum. He thought he’d start with this one since he didn’t have a clue on where to start. He didn’t know where Bokuto lived in the past. The man didn’t mention it in all the entries that he’d written. All that Akaashi knew about him was his name and the year he was “currently” in. He just hoped he could get somewhere with that information.

Conveniently enough, the museum held a small exhibit about past wars and events. Surely, they’d have something.

“Excuse me?” He approached a man he assumed to be a guide to the exhibit. The man in question turned to him with a questioning hum. “Do you—uh, do you maybe have any exhibits related to the war in XXXX?”

The man directed him to a part of the exhibit, not even saying anything to the ravenette. Akaashi shrugged it off as he thanked the man and walked towards the direction he pointed to.

The exhibit was fairly big, making Akaashi jump excitedly, in his mind. He made a stop at the first glass case he approached. Reading through each of the descriptions of the various guns that were supposedly used in the war. Akaashi wondered if one of the guns he was looking at belonged to Bokuto, that would be strangely cool.

He moved onto a large board that was on the wall. It was a display of the war itself. There was a timeline, a brief rundown of important events before, during, and after the war. His eyes skimmed through all the paragraphs and words that were displayed. Nothing.

Akaashi sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than he expected. Not that he even expected this all to be easy.

He moved on to other display cases. It was showcasing different writings and accounts from generals, messengers, and soldiers. He was surprised to see them in this museum rather than those larger, national ones. But he guessed it was because these people who wrote them were from this town. It says so on the small, plated descriptions.

Now, that he thinks about it. Why didn’t the former owner of his journal not bring it to historians or museum curators? He knew for sure that those places paid a larger sum for materials like these more than an old antique shop…Or maybe she did. And maybe they just turned the journal down. Maybe they thought Bokuto’s journal was too unimportant to be kept.

Akaashi felt a weight of sadness wash over him at the thought. He knows that there are soldiers who died and remained unnamed and that Bokuto was lucky enough to have one of his belongings be kept safe. But it was saddening, the idea that a person, no matter their contributions to the world, will still be considered unimportant to even be written in history. Akaashi didn’t like that.

But now was not the time for sad feelings, he could do that later at home. Right now, he has to focus on finding the needle of information among the haystack.

He spent another good thirty minutes wandering the exhibit. Nothing. Akaashi was just about ready to give up when he arrived at the last display. It was of the photographs and pictures that were taken from the war. He doubted he’d find anything here since he doesn’t even know what Bokuto looks like, but he thought it was better to not leave any stone untouched. His eyes scanned all of the photographs. Most of them were of soldiers posing awkwardly at the camera as if they questioned why they were even there if they were going to be sent to their deaths, anyway. There were also a few soldiers at the trenches and some of the important places and buildings.

He was about to reach the end of the display when a particular photograph caught his eye. It was a photo of three soldiers posing for the camera with rifles in their hands. They didn’t look too happy about the camera either, like the others. Well, except for one. The first two on the left were wearing neutral looks, but it was clear the looks were bordering on frowns. The last guy, standing on the right was smiling, a bit small, but it was still clear that it was a smile. Under their photo, on the description plate, read: _Trainees after marksman training. XXXX._

 _‘Helpful’,_ Akaashi thought sarcastically.

His eyes shifted back up to the photo, just for a once-over before he left. His eyes instinctually lingered on the man smiling on the right. He looked familiar. Despite the black and white color of the photo, he swears he’s seen that dual-toned, spiked hair before. But where? It’s on the tip of his tongue, he’s sure of it.

Grabbing his phone out of his pocket, he turned it on, intending to snap a picture of this photo. He feels he should because he really feels like he’s seen the man before. But just as he was about press the camera application, his finger slipped, and ended up pressing his message app. Without meaning to linger, he looked at Kuroo’s recent and opened message to him. It was a selfie of him and Kenma in front of…the diner.

That brightly colored exterior could not be mistaken by the ravenette. It was their favorite diner, where they always hung out. And where that weird picture was.

As if something finally clicked, Akaashi’s teal eyes widened significantly. He snapped his head up to stare at the man on the photo and back to the photo containing his favorite food establishment. _That’s where_.

Snapping a quick picture at the display, Akaashi stuffed the phone into his pocket. He sped-walked through the museum, but still minding other visitors and not bumping into them. He walked out of the building with an ignited fire in his eyes.

And while he’s not sure he found something definite or something even remotely related to Bokuto. He hears a voice in the back of his mind saying that he’s walking the right path. And maybe, just maybe, Akaashi is willing to believe in that voice right now.

* * *

Having a camera shoved in front of his face right after gruesome training was not something that Koutaro particularly appreciated. But hey, what could he do?

Silently grumbling, he headed off to his barrack to dispose of his things and head off to wherever training took him to next. Not that he thought his opinion mattered, but Koutaro _definitely_ did not enjoy their training, at all. Especially marksman training, it just didn’t settle well with his moral compass. But hey, what was he to do? Let himself die out there? Let merciless killers get their way with him and million others? No thank you. Keiji needs him to stay alive. And he needs to keep Keiji alive.

Sighing his way into his barracks, he felt his heart skip a beat at what he was seeing. Just a few feet away from him, in the area where his cot was, a fellow soldier-in-training was standing. In front of his cot. The journal in his hands. _He’s flipping through the journal_.

Koutaro felt his blood run cold, but his body moved without the need for signals. He stalked at the man, growling as he did. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!”

The man looked up; his face unreadably blank. “Reading.”

Koutaro let out a deeper growl as he lunged at the man, swiping the journal from his weaker hands. With the journal safely in Koutaro’s own hand, he used the other to grab at the trainee’s collar. “And _who the fuck_ told you to go through _my stuff_?” He snarled, a fire burning in his golden eyes.

The trainee tried with all his might to free himself from Koutaro’s grasp, as he was currently hanging inches off the ground. But unfortunately for him—and fortunately for Koutaro—his previous line of work prior to enlisting gave him little to no muscle strength.

“’Ey! Let go a’me!” He struggled, grabbing at Koutaro’s wrist to hopefully weaken his hold.

“Not until you tell me why the fuck you were going through my stuff.” Koutaro shot back.

“Why?!” The trainee snapped, digging himself an even deeper hole. “You got somethin’ ta hide?! You got some secret lova’ or somethin’?”

Koutaro weakened momentarily at the assumption. But it was gone as soon as it came. Relax, Koutaro. Don’t give him the satisfaction of confirming his assumptions.

“You’se a fag?!”

That does it.

Koutaro let out a loud snarl as he tossed the man across the room, just using his one arm. The man stumbled into the other cots at the back of the room. He struggled to gain his bearings as his body hit the metal bars of one of the cots.

Koutaro could’ve punched him. Kicked him. Beat him. But he had to remain calm, he told himself. If he did any of the above, worse things could happen to him. And while he was livid and raging with so much hate, he still tried to maintain a level head. To get in trouble with the higher-ups would be a bad move.

“So, it’s true?!” The man tried to fight back. Koutaro could almost punch him this time at his persistence. Was he _trying_ to get himself killed? “You…You people disgust—”

“He’s not anything you’re trying to paint so I would recommend you shut up.”

A voice cut in from behind them. Koutaro turned his head slowly, instantly recognizing the owner of the voice as the trainee turned his head in fear at the possible appearance of a higher-up.

Tetsurou stood there with an unimpressed look and with his arms crossed. Just from the fire mutually burning in the ravenette’s eyes, Koutaro knew that Tetsurou heard everything and was equally as furious.

The homophobic trainee stared at Tetsurou with a look of shock and fear. It was clear that he wasn’t expecting to be caught.

“Well?” Tetsurou continued with a raised brow.

“I—I…He’s hidin’ something!” The trainee’s futile attempts at saving himself were just getting irritating at this point, Koutaro thought. “Plans, maybe he’s a spy!”

“And why would you assume that?”

“He wouldn’t let me read—!”

“And in what universe do you expect a person to let a stranger read through their journal?” Tetsurou retorted with a scoff. “Let alone let you go through their shit?”

“I—”

“You don’t even know how to read, what the fuck are you actually doing here?” Tetsurou let go of his cool composure to let out his own growl.

The revelation that his friend brought made Koutaro let out an internal breath of relief. Thank goodness. He didn’t know how to read. It’s fine. He didn’t understand what Koutaro wrote. It’s going to be fine.

“I was just curious!” The trainee shrieked under the gaze of two equally stronger soldiers-to-be.

“Yeah? Well take your curiosity elsewhere,” Koutaro snapped at him. “And. Away. From. My. Stuff. _Or you’re dead_.” He threatened with a fiery glare, making his eyes look like melting gold under fire. A shadow loomed over half of his face as he stared steely into the trainee’s eyes.

It was obvious the man was scared shitless, but a reminder that he was still a man. It was clear to the both of them, Tetsurou and Koutaro, that he’d rather die than let them see his fear. He’s still a “man” or so he tries to say.

With shaky eyes, he tried to level with Koutaro’s glare. But when it didn’t work, he simply tsked. As if the entire thing was a waste of _his_ time. “Whatever.”

He dusted himself off as he moved to walk away. As he passed Koutaro, his pace significantly hastened.

“Kid,” Koutaro called out as the trainee was now a few feet behind him.

“I’m not a kid—” The man tried to fight back as he whipped around.

Koutaro let out a scoff, “Only a kid would let himself get tossed around like a ragdoll.” Slowly, Koutaro turned around, his stern gaze still in place. “You’d get killed the moment you step out _there_. So, instead of digging through other’s personal business like a rat, I suggest you shape up and start digging yourself out of the grave you’re building for yourself. Unless you want your next life to be as a rat.”

Whatever the man was thinking next, he didn’t let Koutaro know as he audibly gulped and strode away, head shakily held up high. He swerved around Tetsurou and back into the outside world.

Koutaro let out a breath. Tetsurou chuckled as he watched the trainee disappear through the crowds. He approached his golden-eyed friend and patted his shoulder.

“That was fucking cool, what you did,” Tetsurou praised.

Koutaro was silent for a while, collecting his thoughts before he looked at Tetsurou. For the first time in this past hour, his eyes held a softer gaze. “You really meant what you said about him not being able to read?”

Tetsurou smiled reassuringly and nodded, “He’s from my barrack, arrogant little shit. Thinks he’s better when he can’t even read squat.” Tetsurou laughed. “Says he’s some mayor’s son, but we all know how much power that kid holds if he’s out here getting sent to his death. The fact he can’t even read is an added bonus on how important he is to the mayor. Nobody likes him.”

“But, Tetsurou, he still assumed,” Koutaro continued, fear starting to creep through his veins as the adrenaline died down. “What if he thinks it’s true? What if he tells?”

“Whose he got to tell? Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Tetsurou cut him off before his best friend spiraled into a panicking mess. “ _Nobody likes him_. Who’s gonna believe him? And what? Him over you? You’re like one of the best here in this camp!”

Koutaro let out a shaky chuckle. “I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment.”

Tetsurou laughed his ever-famous hyena laugh—which strangely brought comfort to Koutaro—hugging his friend with one arm. “Take it as you will, man.” He gave a tight squeeze of Koutaro’s shoulders. “It’s gonna be fine, Kou.”

* * *

Arriving at the diner with minimal troubles was admirable for one Akaashi Keiji. Not wanting to look like a freak just trying to stare at pictures, he moved to take a seat at the counter area. Conveniently, the last seat open—in this busy lunch rush—was in perfect view of the wall where his target was.

He ordered his usual food to the waitress in front of him, trying his best to be discreet as he moved his head around to get a clear glimpse of the portrait on the wall. However, it seems he was anything but discreet as the waitress took notice of his weird actions.

“Got a cute girl there?” The waitress chuckled as she turned her head.

No. There was no girl.

“No,” Akaashi answered with an embarrassed shake of his head.

“Then whatchu looking at?”

Akaashi sighed internally, he dug himself this one. “A photo on your wall.”

The woman raised a questioning brow, “What photo?”

“Just,” Akaashi sighed again. He couldn’t tell if this woman was pushy or just enjoying his misery. “The one behind you.”

The waitress turned to look at the portrait. Akaashi was expecting more of a judging look when she turned back to him, but all he got were wide eyes. Weird.

“Okay then,” The waitress relented and walked away to put his order in.

If he weren’t in a public place right now, Akaashi was pretty sure he’d be groaning. He tiredly rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, trying to rid the embarrassing—and weird—encounter from his memories, until he finally remembered what he was actually here for.

He snapped his head up, at last, getting a clear view of the photo. He fished his phone out of his pocket and without taking his eyes off of the framed picture, swiped to his photo app. Once he had pulled up the right photo, he looked down at his phone. Then back up. Down. Then up.

It went on for a good minute until Akaashi was sure of his verdict.

It was the same dual-toned hair. Same spikey style. Same body build. Same smile. Same man.

He stared at his phone for a while, not quite sure how to process this information. Okay, so it’s the same man that he found in the museum, so what? This man might not even be Bokuto Koutaro. Yet, why does he feel so intrigued by the photo now? Was there something more that he should know about the photo? About the man himself? And why was he in the same photo as Akaashi’s doppelgänger? Somewhere in the back of his mind, this photo seems important. But for what exactly is it for?

Dozen other questions buzzed in Akaashi’s mind, the loud chatter of the diner doing little to distract him. It seems like his already plentiful questions are only being answered with more questions.

The waitress came back with his food, but Akaashi was too busy with his thoughts that he didn’t even notice her. But once his nostrils caught the scent of his food, he let out a tired sigh. Relenting from the numerous questions, for now, he ate his food and mindlessly scrolled through his phone. He’d rather not cause himself a migraine from too much overthinking.

By the time he finished, most of the diner’s eaters had already left since lunch hour has now ended. Thankfully, Akaashi had a free day today, so unlike the other college students who were previously eating here, he didn’t have to rush to get to classes today.

Once he finished, he got up and headed to the old lady at the front to pay. As he waited for his change, he kept staring at the photo across from him. He was sure by now that the man’s face was already ingrained into his memory after staring at it for so long. And unfortunately, not for the first time today, the lady in front of him took notice of his wistful staring.

Silently, she followed his line of sight, seeing the photo framed on the wall, hummed then turned back to the ravenette.

“Seems you’re really interested in that photo, huh?” She asked kindly as she recounted his change.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Akaashi’s gaze turned to the old woman. And not giving himself enough time to be caught staring again, he quickly nodded.

“Yes, just,” Akaashi didn’t really think telling her his real reason was a viable option so he went for a slightly better reason. “My friends that usually come here are just curious about them. They _kind of_ look like us or so he says.”

There was no denying the similarities between him and his friends and the other three men in that picture. But Akaashi just didn’t really like to believe in reincarnation or other lives. A bit ironic, since he now believes that he’s talking to a man from the past. But hey, we’re not looking at the details.

“My father used to own this place,” She told as she handed Akaashi his change. “That man was a regular diner here with his friends.” She told the story mindlessly as if she was just telling a passing story to her grandson.

But Akaashi—while not her grandson—was intrigued, to say the least. “Do you happen to know their names?”

He wasn’t holding onto that hope that maybe they could be related to Bokuto Koutaro. But maybe, maybe their names could lead Akaashi closer to finding Bokuto Koutaro. A wild and unrelated assumption, he thinks, but a guess was better than nothing at all.

And besides, there was this feeling inside him that just keeps pushing him towards this picture. His pushy feelings once brought him to even discover this journal. Maybe the feelings will bring him something good too.

“No,” The old lady shook her head softly.

Akaashi felt his hope drop to a zero, his shoulders slumping slightly. So much for getting his hopes up.

“Well,” She continued, her eyes shining as if she was thinking hard. As if a switch was flipped, Akaashi snapped his head up. “I don’t know all of their names, but, I might have an idea on one of their names.”

“Could you tell me?” He said all too quickly.

The woman hummed, scratching her head as she tried her best to think. Any other day, Akaashi would feel slightly guilty for bothering the woman too much or asking too much of her. But in his defense, she approached him first and fed into his curiosity. And it didn’t help that Akaashi was desperate for _any_ information after coming out dry in his past researches.

Then, after a minute of baited silence, the woman hummed loudly. “Bokuto Koutaro, was it?”

* * *

After today’s events, Koutaro just wanted to slump into his cot and bury his head in the flat pillow provided with it. He hadn’t the capacity to do anything beyond the duty that was expected of him since his mind was still in the clouds about the incident.

He felt reassured that there was a high chance of no one believing the asshole about him having a lover. And he was glad that said asshole also couldn’t read. Because Koutaro would be damned if anyone read through that journal. Apart from him being in correspondence with a man from the future, it also held details about his relationship with Keiji, although it was lacking clues to point to the ravenette.

He felt safe. But there was still that nagging voice in the back of his head, telling him to be more cautious. It wasn’t a bad idea though. He really did have to be cautious.

Koutaro sighed as he pulled the small journal out from his pocket. He’d been so paranoid of someone walking in again and reading it that he just stuffed it in the pocket of his jacket for the rest of the day. He skipped to the dog-eared page where, sure enough, a new letter from A.K. was written.

He guessed that the entry was actually written last night, since the date clearly stated so, the only difference being the year it was written in. Koutaro hadn’t the time to check on the journal since from the second the sun rose; he’d been hauled off his ass and sent to morning.

**November 21, YYYY**

**Dear Bokuto-san,**

**It’s nice to hear from you. I’m not gonna lie, this journal-thing might be my favorite thing to do in the day. Make of that what you will. But I simply just like talking to someone. More so, apparently if that someone is from an entirely different timeline. It’s interesting, to say the least.**

**How was your day? I know that sounds awfully cliché as a conversation starter, but I mean it. How did your day go? I hope it went fine. Well, as fine as one could get when they’re training for war.**

**I’ll tell you how my day went if it’ll make me seem more relatable. I spent the entirety of my day and the previous night in the library. Boring, I know. But I was too focused on my research, I guess. If you’re wondering what I’m researching, well, don’t take this weirdly…But I was actually researching about you.**

**I hope you don’t mind me doing that. I simply can’t contain my curiosity anymore, you know? Unfortunately, most of my research came up dry. But then again, it’s not hard to believe that finding information on a single person amidst thousands of others is anything but difficult. My friend did tell me that maybe a museum would work, so I might just try that tomorrow.**

**I’ll let you know if I find something if you want. I know you’re somewhat curious too. But I won’t tell you all of it. Especially all the significant stuff and events, because it might change the space-time continuum, since you’ll know what will happen and will probably do something to** **change that event.**

**I’m sorry, I was rambling there. You probably don’t even know what the space-time continuum is. And I don’t think I could give you an explanation that would even remotely make sense. So, all I’ll say is that if you change something in the past that wasn’t supposed to happen** **. It’ll risk what will happen in the future.**

**I think I’ve rambled too much now. Your life sounds wonderful by the way. It almost seems perfect. I wish I had the courage and skill to jump between jobs. I’m still a university student, but I’m pretty sure that if I were to land a job, I’d stay with it for as long as the job will let me. It’s hard to find good work nowadays. I would probably be more like Ji. Actually, can I tell you that my dream job is actually to be an editor too? I want to work on literature** **but who knows where I’ll end up. I’m curious too, what’s Ji’s editorial department?**

**You and Ji are lucky to have each other, really. It looks like you both complement and complete each other so well. ~~It kind of makes me wish I had someone like that too.~~ But I hope that you and Ji will stay together longer and safer. **

**That’s all for now. Please take care, Bokuto-san.**

**Sincerely, A.K.**

“Is that a new message?”

The new voice in the background caused Koutaro to jump from his position on the bed. He turned his head in fear and tucked the journal underneath his pillow frantically. After this noon’s incident, he’d rather not risk others seeing the journal at all.

However, Koutaro let out a breath of relief at the sight of his lover standing over him. Hands behind his back and a curious shine in his teal eyes. The absolutely adorable expression that Keiji was sporting was enough to put a beaming smile on Koutaro’s face. But of course, he had to dim it down to a smaller smile for obvious reasons.

Koutaro nodded in response to the ravenette’s earlier question and automatically moved to make room for Keiji to sit on the bed beside him. A reasonable distance between them to fool the other men that were still awake.

A comfortable silence hovered over them. They didn’t need to say anything while simply basking in the peace that they so rarely share nowadays.

The smile on Koutaro’s face soon melted as he was reminded of that asshole’s attempts to snoop. He wasn’t mad that he had called Koutaro a slur. By now, Koutaro would be immune to such insults. He didn’t need to be affected by them if it clearly didn’t affect his relationship, Keiji thought the same. What worried Koutaro however was the thought of that asshole finding out about the level of intimacy that he shared with the man next to him. He couldn’t risk their lives like that, especially Keiji’s. They both know what happens to people like them.

Unconsciously, Koutaro reached for the journal still hidden beneath his pillow. He stared at it as he fiddled with the already worn-out pages. The journal was another worry of his. He’s taken good care not to reveal any genders amidst his writing and he’s sure that A.K. also hasn’t given any hints. He’s not even entirely sure if A.K. is a man, Koutaro just assumed he was. Maybe it’s because Koutaro was rather more interested in men, therefore finding the person on the other side of his journal interesting automatically makes him assume. But of course, he only has eyes for the man beside him right now.

Speaking of the man, Keiji was quick to take notice of Koutaro’s worried aura. It was clear even in the silence that they shared.

“Tetsurou told me about what happened today,” Keiji started, causing Koutaro to look at him with wide eyes.

The ashen-haired man was more surprised that Keiji was not showing any signs of worrying. Either he wasn’t worried or he’s just good at hiding it. But, then again, Keiji’s never hidden anything from Koutaro.

“You aren’t worried or anything?” Koutaro still thought to ask with a quiet voice.

“That he might tell? A little bit.” Keiji confessed as he leaned back, hands supporting him from fully laying down. “Tetsurou reassured me that no one would believe him.”

Koutaro chuckled, “He told me that too.” Then he turned to look at Keiji who turned to him as well. “But that doesn’t erase the worry, does it?”

“Nope,” Keiji agreed with a shake of his head. Koutaro smiled as he faced forward.

A silence passed over them again, both of them thinking of what to say to hopefully uplift the other.

“I was thinking, actually,” Koutaro spoke after a while. “What if I stop writing?” He turned to look at Keiji’s reaction as he spoke. “Like, for real this time?”

Keiji pulled a confused look. “Why?”

“You know why,” Koutaro pouted. “If a person who _can_ read finds it, who knows what’ll happen.”

“But you don’t say genders and names, right?” Keiji asked.

“Yes, but apart from that we also have that ‘in the future’ problem.” Koutaro reasoned with a soft voice. “It’s hard to know what others will do, but it won’t take long for others to assume and connect the dots, whether that be with you or A.K.” He sighed as he ran a hand through his ruffled hair. “I’d just want to be safer than sorry, Ji. I can’t let anything happen to the both of us.”

With that, Keiji’s once appalled face softened, a small smile dancing across his face. “You know it’s impossible to do that, right Kou?” He shook his head as his voice quieted. “Not _now_ of all times.”

“I know that,” Koutaro sighed, a pout on his face. “But I want to lessen the possibility of anything at all happening to us, even to Tetsurou and Kenma.”

“That’s sweet, Koutaro.” Keiji smiled, seemingly relenting to Koutaro’s thoughts. Because, really, what could he argue to that? He too wanted to be safer, even when it seems impossible now. He didn’t want to dampen their spirits. Keiji pursed his lips in thought before he spoke again. “What about your correspondence with A.K.?”

Koutaro had thought about that earlier, but he honestly wasn’t so sure what to do. He liked A.K., he was funny and interesting to talk to. Weirdly enough, he felt like he could trust A.K. even though he didn’t know much from the guy. Hell, he didn’t even know his own name. Koutaro had thought of asking, but maybe it’d be too much information for the man and he’d be too uncomfortable to share. The only reason that A.K. knew Koutaro’s name was because he chose to sign his entries with his real name.

Koutaro liked A.K. as he was easy to talk to. He didn’t seem like he was judging Koutaro for any of the things he’s written in the journal. And it seems as though A.K. liked Keiji, but then again who wouldn’t? What Koutaro liked most was A.K.’s genuine interest in him and his life. Koutaro never saw his life as something interesting or worth telling. But the fact that a man who was from the future, who probably had a lot more interesting things going on in his life, was interested in knowing about him, Koutaro beamed at the thought.

In turn, he also wants to know more about A.K. and _his_ interesting life. But, as the ashen turned to his lover beside his head, he came to the definite conclusion that his and his lover’s safety is more important than gaining a newfound friend.

“Then I’ll tell them that I have to stop writing,” Koutaro finally broke the silence as he voiced his thoughts. “I’m sure they’d understand if I told them—”

“No!”

Keiji’s—for the first time in forever—loud voice overpowered his own. The ravenette’s exclamation startled Koutaro and, apparently, the other men in the room that was still awake. Koutaro watched with wide eyes as Keiji’s face immediately lit up with a red hue upon realizing the unnecessary volume of his voice.

“Sorry,” He whispered sheepishly to Koutaro and repeated the apology to the men who were still staring—albeit drunkenly—at him.

“What?” Koutaro asked once the redness in Keiji’s cheeks subsided and once the other men’s gazes were off of them.

“I—sorry, I got a bit carried away,” The ravenette apologized again.

“No,” Koutaro shook his head. “Not about that, the other one. Why’d you say no?”

Strangely, Keiji’s face regained its red hue as he looked down at his lap. And while he thought the sight was adorable, he noticed something off. Koutaro could see the darkening storm of thoughts that was waging in those teal eyes. Keiji’s brows were knitted together and he kept pursing his lips to keep them from drying.

“Keiji?” Koutaro called, concernedly. “Is something wrong? What do you want to tell me?”

He must want to tell Koutaro something. What other reason could it be? It didn’t alleviate Koutaro’s concern though. Keiji was acting off.

“Just,” Keiji spoke softly. “I can tell that talking to them keeps you happy. It’s nice to see you smiling like that again.” He smiled as if to provide evidence to his claim.

“But I don’t need them to—”

“Yes, I know,” Keiji spoke quickly to cut him off. “But I’m not always going to be there to make you smile. And that’s not negative, so get rid of that face, Koutaro.” Keiji sighed. “What I meant is that, we hardly get to spend time like this anymore. We’re only going to get busier from here on out and I want something or _someone_ to keep you company while I’m not around.”

Koutaro was stunned by Keiji’s response. And he could only stay that way as Keiji discreetly reached for his hand, gripping it tightly with both of his own. “I’m always going to be here, Kou. But it would make me happier if I knew that someone was doing their best to make you happy too.” Keiji smiled reassuringly and Koutaro could see the storm weakening in his eyes. “I hope that’s an okay enough reason for you to keep writing to them.”

A known fact amongst people who knew—read: Keiji, Tetsurou, and Kenma—Koutaro always had a weak spot for his lover. He’d do anything to make him happy and he knew Keiji would do the same. Maybe that was one of the reasons why they worked so well together. Maybe it’s also the reason that would one day cause their own destruction.

Koutaro chooses to ignore that last thought, though.

Koutaro sighed in defeat, but the smile on his face was evidence of his fondness and agreement.

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of feel like I'm being way too fast-paced with all of this but I don't think it'd be better if it was a slow burn tho. Give me your thoughts on whether it's fast-paced, I'd love to know what y'all think. Also, who's with me with having Koutaro being a BAMF and a huge softie for Keiji in one chapter. Keiji being such a supportive and loving partner is what I want. Please this ship could kill me and I'd say thank you. Somebody give me a Koutaro or a Keiji pleaseeeee
> 
> Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this one! Comment down below or kudos if you liked it enough 🥺👉👈
> 
> Love y'all! Stay safe!
> 
> P.S. I'm not gonna make anymore promises on the next update cuz we all know how horrible I am at those

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! Hope you enjoyed the story! Sound off in the comments, if you'd like. I'd love to hear your thoughts, criticisms, reactions, anything! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, hope you enjoyed it!<3


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